Good parents influence their children essay

Hello All recently I have to write essay about "Parents Influence children"
But I have problem with the Hook...I have asked my ESL teacher 3 times if my Hook was right she always said ""it's not Hook, It's true statement" I have hard time writting Hook can annyone help me correct my Hook and grammar? thx alot

My essay will turn in to my teacher in 13 more hours pls help me as soon as you can this is my take home essay test...im really appreicate it..

Parents influence children
Do you think that parents should influence children in everything? Yes, children are born for their parents. Parents are a vehicle to bring children new life in the world. Children whose parents are involved in their schooling have higher career and educational goals than other kids. But the problem these day is parents spend less time with their children due to the fact that parents have to work and children have begun school. Also, they are quickly developing their own friends and participating in after school activities. The two important things that could help children to be success in their lives are family unity and education.

Good Parents should guide children in family unity. Family unity is a family being together in happy and peaceful. Also, the meaning of family unity is that regardless of how bad a situation may be it will bring us closer together and make our bond stronger. It would have nice to have parents to enforce rules at home. For example, if parents would have been home children would have done homework instead of going outside to play. Another example is sitting together as a family to have dinner made family more closely. There were many things we have discussed at the dinner table. We talk about how our day, the happenings at school , work, upcoming events, share funny stories and express concerns about thing of important to us. Having parents spend time with children are very good example of family values.

Another valuable that parents belief is education. Most parents believed that education is a value for success in the future. A parent's role is to support their child academic growth. Support the school and be active in their child education. Express concerns with the teacher. Be a partner in the school. Know your child academic strengths and weaknesses so the parents can work with their child on the skills they are lacking. My parents come from family without college degree. They had me observe how they both work hard to support family. They explained to me if they had had college education, things would be a little easier for our family. If my parents had not given me self confidence, I wouldn't have enrolled in college. Parents are very important to their children's education.

All parents want their children to be a successful person in future. They influence their kids as much as good thing whenever they could. Find good school for their children; support them when they need help. Teach them how to be good person and go to school for better life. Parents are very important to a child's life

you committed mistakes instead of make it should be makes

niraj

I dont understand what you meant

here you have written, it will bring us closer together and make(instead of make it should be makes) our bond stronger.

I think your introduction essay is too long. Why don't you make it shorter and divide you essay in 5 paragraph?