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'Given name from God' - UNC- Chapel Hill College Essay


emilysimpson 1 / -  
Aug 22, 2009   #1
Since interviews are not apart of our admissions consderation, you have the option of including any additional information beyond the scope of this application which you would like the Admissions Committee to consider with your application.

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My God given name is Emily Janelle Simpson. I am seventeen years old and currently a senior at Indian Land High School in Indian Land, South Carolina. I am pretty much an average teenager. I enjoy texting, eating, shopping, listening to music, dancing, writing poetry, and speding time with my family and friends. Family is a huge value in my life. I spend alot of time wth my mom, who is my hero, role model, guidance, and my best friend. She nt only inspires me to make goals but she pushe me to strive and achieve every one of them.

When I am not in school or participating in my extra curricurlar activities you can usually find me at work. During the school year I am an employee at Wendy's which I have been employed at for about a year and a half. Working at Wendy's has taught me a lot formmoney management, to team- work,to customer service. If you come into Wendy's nyoucan usually find me taking orders in the drive thru or a the front register. My goal as a cashier i y customers satisfactory ane making sure their visit is te best. During the summer I am employed as a Camp Couselor at the YMCA. I would have to saytis s my favorite and i have been there for about three years. I work with four and five year olds, so i spend alot of the day on the field playing games, at the play ground, at the swimming pool, or cooling down the day with circle time as we discuss our character trait of the day. I strive to make an impact on every one of my campers lives, as our goal at the YMCA is to put christian principles into pratice to build a healthy sprit, mind, and body for all, which has brought me alot of courage, respect, and responsibility.

Three goas that I hace made for myself that I am looking forward to in the upcoming year are finishing high school, graduating with honors, and attending college in the spring. It seems like only yesterday I was stepping into Freshman Orientation. I hope to attend college and major in pre-law. I have worked hard throughout my high school years and although I have encountered some battles, my faith has allowed me to over come them. I think college will help prepare me for the future,as I step into my adulthood.

The main reason I hope to attend college is because I will be in the first in this generation of my family to attend. Attendng college, I hope to inspire my siblings as well as my cousins to do well in school so that they can get a good education, be succesful in life, so that can get things in life that their parents and family members were not able to have.
M Ehsan ul Haq 2 / 4  
Aug 22, 2009   #2
Its a nice start, but usually a college admission essay should include following details.
1) Motivation to pursue college studies (Your mom inspires and motivates you how?)
2) Your future goals (pre-law, which you have mentioned. But make it more prominent)
3) How do you plan to achieve your goals/How college studies will help you towards your goals.
4) Your academic record
5) Your strong points/special skills (Sports/Community service etc).
Also your essay should be a bit formal and structured.
Also proof read your essay for any typo or spelling mistakes.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 22, 2009   #3
My God given name is Emily Janelle Simpson.

Huh? Unless you belong to a faith that believes that the deity literally spells out the name placed on the birth certificate, "Emily Janelle" is the name your parents chose for you.

you have the option of including any additional information beyond the scope of this application which you would like the Admissions Committee to consider with your application.

According to this prompt, all that you should be writing is information you would like them to know. Do you really want the admissions committee to know that you like texting? No, of course not! As you say, this is something average about you, nothing special enough to include in a special addendum to an application.

What should you include: Working at Wendys, working at the Y, and being the first in your family to go to college.

However, do not say that being the first in your family is the main reason you want to go to college. The main reason to go to college is to get an education in whatever you want to study. Being the first in your family to go will be a source of pride and also will motivate you to do your very best, so as to succeed and become a role model for younger family members.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Aug 23, 2009   #4
Usually, you would use this sort of essay to talk about experiences you have had or qualities you possess that make you a strong candidate for admission but that you didn't have room for in your other application essays. This allows you to make your other essays more focused while still covering anything. But, this essay should itself be as focused and tightly written as your others, and not treated as a dumping ground for random facts about yourself. Decide what you want your essay to say about you, then pick the best details you can to demonstrate that point.


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