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GED Practice essay: Do you think people learn from their mistakes?



spczmbThreads: 2
Posts: 6
Author: T D
   
Apr 14, 2009, 02:52pm   #1
Please score my GED practice essay from 1 - 4 (4 being the highest) and let me know what areas I can improve. Thanks.
Topic: Do you think people learn from their mistakes?
--

Do people learn from their mistakes? I believe most do, but the real question is 'How much?'. As the saying goes, "Experience is the name we give to our mistakes". The lessons we learn from life are the result of all the mistakes we've made in the past. There are 2 kinds of people, Those that view their mistakes as failures, and those that view it as a stepping stone to greatness. Everyone messes up occasionally, we're only human. But learning how to deal with it is a fundamental part of growing up.

The importance of understanding mistakes cannot be understated. On one hand, you have people that never correctly identify their problems, blaming themselves for being inadequate and incapable of performing the task at hand. They end up getting stuck in a mental rut and are bound to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. On the other, there are those that regard mistakes as a learning experience. They look closer at what went wrong, analyze it and use that information to better themselves.

Nobody in this world has never made a mistake, even the greatest of the great in their field, from sports to academia to music. The greatest musicians, from Mozart to Jimi Hendrix were undoubtedly born with a certain level of talent. But in order to play that efficiently they had to make an endless number of errors, playing out of tune and hitting the wrong notes, correcting them and trying again. Only after years of training in this fashion were they able to progress. If they had given up early and saw themselves as failures, they wouldn't have become the legends they are today.

As we grow older we tend to be more cautious of making mistakes. For example, how did you learn to walk as a kid? You would grab onto a support and try to hoist yourself up, eventually falling down and getting back up again. At that age, you didn't understand the meaning of 'mistake' or the negative connotations associated with it, you just knew that if didn't try, you'd never learn how to walk. Unfortunately, as time passes we become more self aware and expect more from ourselves. We get embarrassed and frustrated with our blunders, and shy away from instead of confronting them.

Finally, I'd like to say that people do learn from their mistakes. And those that don't, should. For in order to accomplish anything significant in our lives we must learn to embrace our mistakes and focus not on what went wrong, but on how it could be improved.

--



EF_SeanThreads: 6
Posts: 3,667
Author: Sean, EssayForum.com
[Moderator]   
Apr 14, 2009, 07:06pm   #2
I don't know how the GED is scored, so I can't tell you what mark you would get from the official reviewer. However, I'd give it around a 3, personally. You have a clear thesis, and your use of grammar and style is pretty solid. However, what you have to say isn't strikingly original or deep. You could have mentioned research that shows that most people, if they make a decision between two alternatives, tend to justify their choice after the fact. That is, they come to view the choice they made as the best one, not because it is actually the best, or because they were convinced that it was the best when they made it, but because they don't want to see it as a mistake. Hence, many people staunchly defend decisions even if conditions afterward would make those decisions look like a mistake to an objective outsider. I'm not saying you should incorporate this idea per se into your essay, but it gives you an idea of how you could go about adding more depth.


MonkeyDDragonThreads: 4
Posts: 14
Author: Enel
   
Apr 14, 2009, 09:38pm   #3
For learning from mistakes, I think there are many maxims of geniuses and those should be quoted to support the topic strongly.


spczmbThreads: 2
Posts: 6
Author: T D
   
Apr 15, 2009, 05:38am   #4
Thanks for the feedback. Adding depth has been one of my biggest problems and ill try to work on it.

The GED is a 45 minute essay typically 200-300 words and scored on focus, organization, details, word choice and EAE and SWE conventions.

These are the guidelines:
http://www.passged.com/articles/20_The_GED_Essay_Test_Unders tanding_the_Essay_Improving_the_Score.php


MonkeyDDragonThreads: 4
Posts: 14
Author: Enel
   
Apr 15, 2009, 11:38am   #5
spczmb:
Thanks for the feedback. Adding depth has been one of my biggest problems and ill try to work on it.


Well, many times I also like that. How about your brainstorming process ?


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Apr 15, 2009, 02:04pm   #6
spczmb:
There are 2 kinds of people, Those that view their mistakes as failures, and those that view it as a stepping stone to greatness.


Don't capitalize that word "those." There are two kinds of people: those that ...

Also: those that view them as stepping stones to...

Yes, if you want to get a better score, put a good, solid, thesis sentence at the end of the first paragraph.

See, this kind of thing -- Finally, I'd like to say that people do learn from their mistakes. And those that don't, should. -- it does not help. It IS kind of cool, though. But you can't use it. It expresses your personality in a cool ay, but the GED essay is not the time for that. In place of that, expand on the thesis you gave at the end of the first para.

What should your thesis be? Have an argument with someone about this philosophical issue, and whatever is the best insight/idea you come up with should be your thesis.


SairaTasartirThreads: 5
Posts: 45
   
Apr 23, 2009, 01:02pm   #7
Your concluding paragraph could use some beefing up. And I think if you gave some examples of people learning from their mistakes, or maybe of *not* learning and making the same mistakes, you would have more credibility. Have you ever watched the movie "Meet the Robinsons"? A little fruity a times, but it relates exactly to your essay! lol




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