IELTS - Full time employed men & women should share house hold chores evenly

Dear readers,i would be graciously appreciate if you correct and advise me.

Men and women employed in full time job have to share evenly house hold chores and caring for children at home.Do you agree or disagree.

In the days gone by,house responsibility was belongs to wives ans out side job used to be a husbands duty.In twenty first century both men and women are working equally in various fields.Present generation is of equality no gender is superior or inferior,and they should share same responsibility particularly both working full time.I certainly agree with the statement.

Today's world is of equality,and highly intolerance to any kind of bias.Specially if both husband and wife are working full time.It is immoral if man is enjoying leisure time while woman is doing house chores after hard work in her job.Since both rubbing their shoulders in workplace,why cant help each other in domestic works?equal distribution in house chores is better and justifiable.It is inhuman to force weaker sex to do both works.

Male chauvinism is still prevalent in many society.However this shows partiality and imposing all domestic responsibility to ladies.Child rearing is not sole duty of wife.Both should equally take this responsibility on their shoulder and full fill the child needs.Blaming and victimizing women for child bringing up is not acceptable in new era.Sharing house work is imperative for smooth running of family

To conclude,it does not go with out saying,"sharing is caring" couple should accept their responsibility.Burdening on one person would not be ethical.Child rearing and house chores must be shared equally and it is a moral duty of both husband and wife.

i think your introduction is good. However, there are some problems in the body.
This is a Situation essay. In the body, there are usually two paragraphs that state the reasons leading to this situation.
(1) Both men and women have to earn a living for the family.
(2) Children and family are their responsibilities.

use more acadimice words.
write it as 4 part
intro
agree
disagree
con

it will be more acadimice