I came across this topic and tried writing it. Can you help me check it? Many thanks.
Topic:Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Modern time has brought us a wide range of choices for a better life: faster transportation, better services, and much more comfort in every aspect of life. One of the classicals which has changed a lot is our preparation for meals: there are more and more people now choose food stands or restaurants instead of home when having a meal. Despite many undeniable benefits of eating out, I still prefer eating at home.
On the one hand, going to a food stand or a restaurant really sounds a good idea. Firstly, it helps to save time preparing food. Secondly, at food stands of restaurants, there are often special dishes that we can hardly tasted anywhere else, let alone preparing it at home. Lastly, eating out, especially at posh restaurants, is very suitable for formal meetings. For example, if two businessmen met the first time to discuss a contract, for certain they should choose to have a meal at a restaurant, which would make up a formal atmosphere for the meal.
Eating at home, on the other hand, appeals more to me. Initially, it seems cheaper to buy food and cook it ourselves, than to eat at restaurants, where the price is often rather high. Moreover, I feel that eating at home is much safer. There have been rumors about many food poisoning cases at food stands or restaurants, so I think it would be better if we cooked the food ourselves. Most importantly, it is the cosy atmosphere of eating at home that other places cannot have. When friends met, I would visit them to my home for a meal. We would buy food to cook together and then eat together. It would be a great time, and I am sure it would be warmer and more friendly than going to some posh but strange restaurant.
Undoubtedly, it is convenient to have food served at a food stand or a restaurant. However, a meal at home, sitting among dear people that we love, is always what we miss the most when we are away, and is also the old but valuable thing we really need in this modern life.
You can be less wordy by being more precise:
"Initially, it seems cheaper to buy food and cook it ourselves, than to eat at restaurants, where the price is often rather high."
Does it only seem that way at first and then you learn otherwise? If not, strike "initially." Does home-cooked food only seem less expensive? If not, you can change "seems" to "is."
You can also gain power by omitting empty modifiers like "rather."
Another way to gain power is to use action verbs:
We can save money by cooking our own food rather than paying high prices at restaurants.
Speaking of being more precise, I notice that you have written an entire essay on food and meals without mentioning a single specific dish . . .
Thanks for the advice. I have never tried mentioning a specific object in an essay. In class we often practice IELTS essays as my teacher prefers it. And she didn't tell us to do so. We just argue in general with few examples. Maybe it is the difference between two kinds of tests?
No. You should use specific examples. It may take a bit of practice before you can work them smoothly into your essay (like many things, trying something new might make you get a bit worse before you get better) but to write solid essay, it is something you need to master.
Using examples is also an essential element of effective argumentation.
Conclusion part:
Undoubtedly, it is convenient to have food served at a food stand or a restaurant. However, a meal at home and sitting among dear people who we love, is always what we miss the most when we are away.Although it is old, still it is the valuable thing we really need in this fast-paced modern life.
there are more and more people now choosechoosing food stands or restaurants instead of home when having a meal. Despitedespite of many undeniable benefits of eating out, I still prefer eating at home.
Most importantly, it is the cosy atmosphere of eating at home that other places cannot have.this is a fragment sentence
I think there should be some more specific examples in your essay~~
