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Follow the customs of the new country you are in, or keep your own customs?


s033591 7 / 8  
Feb 20, 2011   #1
Topic: When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Suppor your answer with specific details.

When moving to a new country, there are always something new which may elicit your interest in. However, if you change your original surrounding to a new place, it will be another topic. After all, it is a place where you may live for the rest of your live. Hence, some new customs may be troublesome for most people who just move in. In the following passages I will discuss whether we should adapt to the new ones.

I believe most of the people are getting used to the old tradition for the reason that they had spent lots of time in their hometown. Therefore, they may tend to follow their original habits without changing because they are something they use to memorize their home. For example, the foreign students in Taiwan. They don't celebrate the holidays during the Chinese New Year, but they have their owns special holidays in certain periods. I think it is OK, because they do not violate something at all. And it is indeed a way for them to get united.

However, there are parts of people willing to accept the new costume for the reason that they could embrace more new friends and culture. Take my friends as a good example. They don't tend to eat outside after 10 o'clock at night. However, here in Taiwan, it is commonplace for most people to grab something in the night markets especially before sleeping. At first, they seem it is a strange habit. However, they become to accept this new idea gradually and think it is a wonderful thing. Therefore, we often talk a lot and eat together.

Indeed, they are some people stick to the old tradition but others are not. I think only not crossing the line regulated by laws will it be acceptable to everyone. After all, everyone has their right to do something they want.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Feb 21, 2011   #2
Hello...
I'll just suggest,huh?
I think you've minimized using transitional devices.
You may use other techniques in writing a paragraph but I'm not to say you will not to use transitional devices,alright? Just minimize...what do you think ?
nook 1 / 2  
Feb 21, 2011   #3
It's a nice written essay, I think. :)
If I am not mistaken, your essay topic is one of the TOEFL or IELTS. If so, it might be a better idea for you to state explicitly what your point of view is and spend time supporting for your idea instead of trying to develop both sides. We all know there are only thirty minutes to finish the essay.

I just have some suggestions:
*

I believe most of the people are getting used to the old tradition for the reason that they had spent lots of time in their hometowns .

Just tell the fact, adding "I believe" seems to just weaken your point.
I think the above past perfect tense [had spent] is not really appropriate. I suggest "they have spend ...".

*

Therefore, they may tend to follow their original habits without changing because they are something they use to memorize their home.

"because they are something they use to memorize their home." I don't really understand this part. What did you mean?

*

For example, the foreign students in Taiwan.

This is not a sentence. [For example, + a full sentence] or just something like "I knew some oversea students from Taiwan."

*

I think it is OK

. OK is OK :). But using something a bit formal like reasonable or acceptable is more appropriate.

*

However, there are parts of people willing to accept the new costume for the reason that they could embrace more new friends and culture.

I suppose you meant CUSTOM here.

*

At first, they seem it is a strange habit.

???

*

Indeed, they are some people stick to the old tradition but others are not.

Parallelism error :).

Hope it may help!
OP s033591 7 / 8  
Feb 22, 2011   #4
niesaysi
I think transitional devices is a good point.
I will take it into consideration

nook

Your suggestion and corrections are very useful to me.
Thanks a lot


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