This is just the rough draft.
There's so much to add to this
If you see anything that needs improvements, please feel free to comment!
Thank you so much!!
Choose a person or a character that is either fictional or historical. Describe in detail how that person or character changed the way you look at the world around you or at life in general.
"Why are you so selfish?" Something I've heard over and over again in my life, from angry friends and family members. Back then, I believed that the only way for me to propel forward, and improve my overall well-being was to do everything for me and only me. Needless to say, I didn't really believe in volunteer work, being philanthropic, or loving others more than you love yourself.
This all changed when I met Father John Lee. Actually, I never met him in person, rather, I got to know him after he passed away. My parents and I went to the movies to see a documentary about Father Lee, who dedicated his life to helping the needy in the town of Tonj, a small town in South Sudan torn apart by years of war and poverty. Father Lee, a graduate from Inje Medical School, cured its people not only by medicine but with music and love.
Watching the documentary taught me that love and devotion can change other's lives forever. The life of a person, so different from what I am, made me reflect upon my selfishness and led me wanting to change my misanthropy. I tried to become a person like Father Lee. So I tried to think of things that Father Lee has done that I could also do. Become a doctor? Possibly. Become a priest? Impossible... Play music for the sick...? Yes, I could do that. Having learned the piano since 6, playing music was something that I utterly enjoyed. I thought of a plan to make an ensemble and play music for the patients at local hospitals. Upon hearing my plans, my friends agreed without hesitating. We got to work right away. Picking out music to play and arranging them wasn't an easy task to do. Especially when there was a disagreement among ourselves. When this happened, I wanted to quit on everything.
My ensemble played at hospitals all through summer vacation. We've played the theme song of 'Pororo' for an encore. Hearing their favorite song, the kids who were at the hospital with ivy needles in their arms, started dancing all of a sudden, putting away their frowned faces. From their reactions to my little gift of music, I realized that I could make people happy by my efforts and ability. It also made me realize that for I never thought that giving is not the act of losing something but receiving a lot more than what you have given.
Hi, so I believe you have a pretty good essay going on here. However, I don't get the phrase " The life of a person, so different from what I am,..." Is The life of a person supposed to be the title of the documentary, if so it would make sense then but you would need to put that into quotes or something. If it was not the title, i think you should take some time explaining that part if you meant you were not like the average person. Change hesitating to without hesitation. make the period before especially into a comma. After you said I wanted to quit you should say tat you didn't, you prospered, because you just jump to the next paragraph without saying that. Also, your last sentence is awkwardly phrased. I think its a very good example for this prompt though, so i wish you well and hope that this has helped. :)
