The children's personality is affected influenced mostly by their parents.
...."affect" is not the most appropriate word here. As per your topic, the ideal word to use here is "influence"... you can even use the word "shape".
. But there are many arguments whether they (both girls and boys?) are more influenced by their mother or the boys are influenced by the father and girls are influenced by the mother through this essay I will address the points that support the latter statement.
.... this sentence is too long and does not flow logically. There are repetition of ideas too.... Restrict one idea to one sentence and that would help you to have a smooth flow of ideas without being carried away.
Some people believe that fathers have more influence on boys while mothers influence girls more. However, others view this differently and believe that there is no such phenomenon that exists in real lifeAnd how it is attributed to the human nature and parents being the closest and trusted example to follow by their children.
... this is irrelevant and does not contribute any valuable idea to your topic. Always stay aligned with the topic.