I'm happy to assist you with editing your well-reasoned essay!
In my country, while men are often working outside the home, women are responsible for bringing the children up. However, in today's society women's role is changing, with the large number of women working outside the home. This essay will discuss who should be responsible for bringing their children up.
I definitely agree with this idea. Fathers should be responsible for bringing the children up the same as mothers. Both father and mother are the most important people in their youngsters' lives and they are the first and the best teachers for their children.
Bringing the children up is the most important task for both father and mother. They should do this important duty together. Besides, in the extended family, the kin should participate in these hard tasks, too. Everybody in the family has their own important role which affects the children. I strongly believe that the more time you spend together and the more activities you do together--watching TV, cooking and playing games and so on--the more you will encourage the family's attachment and binding. Moreover, the strong family relationship could reduce many problems such as family problems, learning problems and social problems. From my experience, when I was young my father often worked outside the home and had only a little time to stay with me. Sometimes I felt sad and melancholy. I wanted much more time to be with him and talk with him. In fact, money cannot buy something like love and happiness in your family.
Both fathers and mothers have strengths and skills that are important for their children's psychological, emotional, and social growth. Fatherhood should be emphasised in child-rearing as much as motherhood.
I changed the ending a little so that it restated your thesis statement. I hope this is helpful for you!