"What famous place would you you like to visit?" - TOEFL ibt writing

What famous place would you you like to visit ? Use details and reasons to support your response.

When I was a kid, I dreamed of having a chance to visit France, which is the center of fashion. The most fascinating thing about France is that it is both picturesque and historically important. There are also plenty of structures as well as buildings which were constructed long time ago. But what strikes me does not stop at that. Paris, the capital of France, is one of the world's most striking cities for fashion and style. My sister works as the officer-in-charge-of designers for a fashion company. When young, I possessed a basic understanding of fashion as my sister told me a lot of interesting things about Paris along with her career. From that time, she influenced the passion of designing in my mind. That is why I am into creating new designs and look forward to visiting my dreamland one day.

Thanks for all advice.
your faithfully,
Hugh

When I was a kid, I dreamed of having a chance to visit France, which is the center of fashion. The most fascinating thing ofabout France is that it is bothscenicpicturesque and ancienthistorically important.,andtT here are also plenty of structures as well as buildings which were constructed long time ago. But what strikes me does not stop at that concept . Another striking part of France is Paris, the capital of France, is one of the world's most strikinga cityiesoffor fashion and style. My sister works as the officer- in- charge of designers for a fashion company. wW hen young, I possessed a basic understanding of fashion as my sister told me a lot of interesting things about Paris along with her career. From that time, she raisedinfluenced the passion offor designing in my mind. , tT hat is why I am into creating new models of clothes designs and wisheslooking forward to visiting my dreamland one day.

thanks Dumi. I should really brsuh up on more

Hieu, the next thing to do is type the essay in the post below, and use the corrections dumi provided.
If you have time to type it below, I'll look to see if you still have any errors. Do that, and you'll improve your skill! :-)

ya may error try to improve
BEST OF LUCK!!
:-)