Hello!
Could you please take a look on my writing and give me suggestions to improve it? Thanks!
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such a letter, e-mail, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
In the modern world we live, they are a diversity of ways to communicate with people, not only in the same work space, town or country, but also abroad. Although a lot of people believe Face-to-face communication is the best way to communicate, I think, there are better ways to communicate such a letters, emails and phone calls.
Letters are a good way to communicate with others. I think, when we communicate in a writing way we have the chance to review and make corrections. On the other hand, with face to face communication we talk, and after the words are out of our mouth we can not take them back. In addition, when people talk, they mean to say something but not always the receptor can understand the message while if you in writing the message is more precise.
In addition to letters, emails are a very suitable way to communicate with others. Emails and letter, both, share the same writing concept. However, emails are an informal and a fastest way to communicate. While a letter can be in the hand destinatary in one to five days, you can reach a person in less than one minute. Moreover, with emails you can contact people while you stay in your place. Currently, when I have a question to my son's teacher, I use to reach her by email. Therefore, I get her answer in the same day. On the other hand, during my school years, my mother had to go to my school in person to get an answer from my teacher; I remember my mother could get an answer from her several days later, after some phone calls and visits to my school.
Telephone calls are also a wonderful way to communicate. Especially with the advance in technology, Particularly, I think cellular phones are the best. You can reach people not matter where they are. Actually, the benefits of using the phone to make conferences are not only a way to save money, but also time. Before, people had to go to a place to have face-to-face conferences, spending time commuting or traveling to farthest or abroad locations. Now, with a phone call you can talk with several people at the same time.
Face-to-face communication is not anymore the more effective way to communicate. After a lot of technologic revolution, we can say that, nowadays, we have a lot of more effective and precise resources to communicate with others as letters, emails and telephone calls.
Its a good essay but I don't think you should say that face to face is the best way of communication because it gives the impression that you are going to support it. Instead you should say something like how face to face is a good way to communicate but it is often inconvenient and can be misinterpreted, so methods such as emails/letters are better.
Hope that helps!
That first sentence takes a long time to make its point... it needs to have the first part rephrased:
In the modern world in which we live...
And it can't be "they are":
In the modern in which we live, there are many ways...
But you wrote "diversity," so it has to be:
In the modern world in which we live, there is a diversity of ways to communicate with people, not only in the same work space, town or country, but also abroad.
Or you can simplify for powerfulness! Like this:
In our modern world, they are a diversity of ways to communicate communication methods has brought people closer together from every part of the world. with people, not only in the same work space, town or country, but also abroad.
This is a very interesting essay! It will be a stronger argument if you explain the criteria for what makes a communication "better." It is hard to write that something is "better" than something else, because that could mean so many things.
This is good writing!
Parthew and Kevin, I really appretiate your feedback.
Kevin, thanks so much for letting me see and understand my grammar mistake. Now,I got it. I will work on explaining the criteria for what makes a communication "better."
