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Extinct Animals - Essay



NesreenThreads: 15
Posts: 71
Author: Nesreen Al-shargabi
   
Oct 17, 2010, 11:38am   #1
I need your comments about my essay...Please and if I have problem in my writing, tell me??

Nowadays, many animals have disappeared from the earth whether by natural reasons or human's hands particularly the extinct animals which we need to pay more attention to protect them from vanishing. In fact, I disagree with idea that animals have been created to serve human being so that we have the right to do whatever we want on them. I strongly support the claim that extinct species will only be saved if the public have changed its behaviors such as destroying lands and hunting.
Destroying lands plays an important factor which threatens the existence of animals. As an excuse of expanding economy and investment, many people start devastate forests in order to build buildings, flats, factories and farms. Accordingly, lands shrink and animals become exposing to the anger of natural without shelters. Furthermore, if people do not take animals homes, they spoil their lands by producing the factories garbage, dirt and poisons. As a result that led at the end to a massacre of animals.
Besides, Land detriment, haunting is another element which helps animals to disappear. Haunters hunt animals to sell their valuable parts which are considered very expensive. For instance, in Africa, hunters exert great efforts to track down rhinoceros to gain its costly horns which people use to make daggers that cost from 500YR to 2millions YR. Also, Ivory trade aids to reduce the number of African elephants to 400,000 the end of century.
In summary, we have to stop demolish forests, which are the homes of animals, and hunting animals to save endangered species then keep the balance in the earth. We should not forget that we still need them in our meals. In my opinion, protecting those animals is not person's duty but it is of all human being's accountability.



TaniadThreads: 5
Posts: 35
Author: Mania Kan
   
Oct 17, 2010, 01:31pm   #2
Nowadays, many animals have disappeared from the earth whether by (because of) natural reasons or human's hands, particularly the extinct endangered animals which we need to pay more attention to to protect them from vanishing. ( I know it's strange, but sometimes two the same prepositions can be placed next to each other. I'll try to explain. We say - to pay attention to something. In your structure the preposition 'to' goes to the end, it can't just disappere.) Extinct animals are animals that have already died, so we can't protect them from vanishing, while endangered animals are creatures that still exist, but at the same time they are in danger of extinction.

In fact, I disagree with the idea that animals have been created to serve human beings so that we have the right to do whatever we want on with them. I strongly support the claim that extinct(?????) species will only be saved if the public have changed its behaviors such as destroying lands and hunting. (or I think extinct species would have been saved if the public had changed its behaviors)
As an excuse of for devastating forests in order to build buildings, flats, factories and farms many people.....(The way your wrote this sentences is not correct. I started the new one and you can continue)


Accordingly, lands shrink and animals are exposed to the danger of nature , risking to be without shelters.



Furthermore, if people do not take animals' homes, then they spoil their lands by producing the factories garbage, dirt and poisons. As a result, that led(??? maybe leads) to a massacre (???) of animals at in the end.

Besides, Land detriment, haunting is another element which helps make animals to disappear.

Also, Ivory trade aids to reduce the number of African elephants to 400,000 the by the end of the century.

In summary, we have to stop demolishing forests, which are the homes of animals, and hunting animals to save endangered species then keep the balance on the earth. We should not forget that we still need them in our meals. In my opinion, protecting those animals is not a person's duty but it is the accountability of all human beings.


We should not forget that we still need them in our meals.---- THIs point is just killing me. What do mean, actually? As I understand, the main point of your essay is that humanity should be concerned about other living beings and try to save our planet, and then you said that we need them only to eat their meat!? So, are you saying that we have to take care of animals to use them then? Just explain, please. It's not very clear to me.


NesreenThreads: 15
Posts: 71
Author: Nesreen Al-shargabi
   
Oct 17, 2010, 02:22pm   #3
Thank you for your comments. What I meant that we still need cheese, milk and many things from them that we are in need to them in our life. :)


TaniadThreads: 5
Posts: 35
Author: Mania Kan
   
Oct 18, 2010, 08:32am   #4
Oh, now I see .


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
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Oct 20, 2010, 07:50pm   #5
In fact, I disagree with idea that animals have been created to serve human beings so that we have the right to do whatever we want to them.

I strongly support the claim that extinct species will only be saved if the public have changed its behaviors such as destroying lands and hunting.--- extinct species cannot be saved, because they are already extinct. You should change the word extinct to endangered.

Destroying lands plays an important factor role in threatening the existence of animals. As an excuse of to expand economy and investment, many people start to devastate forests in order to build buildings, flats, factories and farms. Accordingly, lands shrink and animals become exposing exposed to the anger of nature without shelters.

apostrophe:
Furthermore, if people do not take animals' homes, they spoil their lands by producing the factories garbage, dirt and poisons.

Haunting is what a ghost does!
Besides, Land detriment, haunting hunting is another element ....

:-)

In summary, we have to stop demolishing forests, which are the homes of animals, and we have to stop hunting animals. We should save endangered species and keep the balance in the earth.

We should not forget that we still need them in our meals. what does this sentence mean?

In my opinion, protecting those animals is not person's duty but it is something for which all humankind should be held accountable. being's accountability.


NesreenThreads: 15
Posts: 71
Author: Nesreen Al-shargabi
   
Oct 25, 2010, 12:57am   #6
I really Appreciate your comments all. You've really helped me a lot.




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