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Exploiting tourism is more lucrative than ever to nations galore; some concerns



bemytthmThreads: 3
Posts: 14
Author: bemytthm
   
Oct 9, 2010, 05:54am   #1
Article:
Tourism is becoming a good source of revenue to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disvantages of exploiting this resource.
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My Response: 310 words/40 mins.

Nowadays more and more poeple are likely to go travelling and therefore tourism is getting more lucrative than ever to nations galore. While it is undoubtedly true that tourism is beneficial, there are still some concerns as to this field. This essay will look at both these arguments and discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism.

It is obvious that tourism brings to a nation many benefits. Firstly, owing to tourism industry, lots of new jobs have been created. Indeed,the living standard of those who live and work in travelling ares has been inevitably improved since the appearance of new high-paid carrers as tour guide or souvenir seller. Consequently, more revenue will be derived from travellers, which makes great contribution to not only local but national economy.As an typical example, most of Singapo's revenue have come from tourism-related activities and thanks to that, it is becoming one of the most developed nations in the world. Secondly, by investment for tourism, one's country images are widely broadcasted to the world, which will increase one's country role and influence on global political conferences.

However, There are some drawbacks of tourism. One clear problem is that more and more travellers coming to visit means more risky the enveronment is likely to be. The rubbish exposed by visitors can adversely impact to living environment and as a result to human being's health. Furthermore, tourists could be a source of some serious illnesses. Hundreds of people were dead several years ago due to the wide spread of the disease of SAT, which are caused partially by the travelling of infected passengers though nations. Likewise, terrorists and criminals could easily access a country in the name of tourists.

To conclude, while the disavantages of tourism are certainly understandable, the benefits offered by tourism make it well worthwide. Therefore, In my opinion, its advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

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Could you help me to correct this essay? Thanks you in advance.



pendarThreads: 6
Posts: 29
Author: ana ghazi
   
Oct 9, 2010, 08:04am   #2
lots of new jobs have been created
Lots of is an informal word and a lot of is more suitable for writing.

your essay have some misspelld words such as travelling areas , environment

The rubbish exposed by visitors can adversely impact to on living environment

tourists could be a source of some serious illnesses why could not can?


labroyThreads: 2
Posts: 7
Author: de zilva
   
Oct 9, 2010, 08:29am   #3
It is obvious that tourism brings to a nation many benefits to a nation[font#FF0000]s[/font].

Firstly First, owing to tourism industry, lots of new jobs have been created.
I would suggest;
First, tourism industry creates many job opportunities.


Indeed,the living standards of those, who live and work in travelling the areas where tourism is popular, has been would inevitably improved inevitably since the appearance of new high-paid carrers as tour guide or souvenir seller. with the creation of new carrers such as tour guides, souvenier sellers.


dumiThreads: 1
Posts: 7,241
Author: Duminda
[Moderator] Likes 1401  
Oct 9, 2010, 08:37am   #4
One clear obvious problem is that more and more when the numbers of tourists increase [/font]travellers coming to visit means , more risky the enveronment is likely to be. there would be many environmental issues.[font#FF0000]The rubbish exposed by visitors can adversely impact to living environment and as a result to human being's health. (I think you should rewrite this sentence since its argument is not clear. Are you trying to tell that tourists pollute environment by disposing something?????)


bemytthmThreads: 3
Posts: 14
Author: bemytthm
   
Oct 13, 2010, 11:24pm   #5
to pendar:
- lots of --> lot of :OK
- impact to --> impact on :OK
- could --> can:
What I want to say is I dont want to 100 percent assert that tourism is a source to illesses, but they could potentially be. Is that all right?


to labroy
- bring to a nation many benefits--> Here I just want to emphasize the benefits within only a certain nation, not many nations. Like many jobs created, living standard improved, these benefits are within a nation. Therefore I used "bring to a nation". And why I put" bring to a nation many benefits" not" bring many benefits to a nation"? because I want to emphasize more about the word"benefits".
-First & Firstly --> I thought think that they're the same, and if there is any difference, it will be very little. ??
- First, tourism industry creates many job opportunities. --> I like your sentence.
- Indeed,the living standards of those, who live and work in the areas where tourism is popular, would improve inevitably with the creation of new carrers such as tour guides, souvenier sellers. ---> I like this however, why you use " would" here? Because the previoous sentence I wrote that " many jobs have been created", I want to say that fact has happened.
So, I should correct to be -- >Indeed, the living standards of those, who live and work in the areas where tourism is popular has inevitably improved since the creation of new....


to dumi:
- I want to emphasize that such rubbish exposed by irresponsible tourists as nylon, bottle..or something could impact on environment. I perhaps should make it more clear:
---> One clear obvious problem is that when the numbers of tourists increase there would be many environmental issues. Such plastic rubbish as nylon, bottles exposed by irresponsible visitors could cause adverse impact on living environment and hence possibly on local people's health.


Thank you very much.




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