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IELTS Essay - Teenage years are the Happiest time of life?



christyzhongsThreads: 7
Posts: 33
Author: hui zhong
 Likes 1  
Apr 25, 2013, 11:54am   #1
Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Some people think that the days attending school are the happiest time of most people's life while the others think that the adults are happier excluding the greater responsibilities. In my opinion, I prefer the former idea as I think younger means you still have a lot of time for dream.

On one hand, teenagers have the happiest time. Firstly, they don't need to worry about money which their parents have prepared for them. Almost all the parents would try their best to fulfill their children's wishes. Secondly, they can spend all the time in learning the new knowledge and do excise to build a healthy, strong body, which is a day-dream for many adults in work who have to sit in front of the computer all the day and no time to do exercise. Finally, they have time to have a dream of their future. However, some students/parents would complain the heavy homework and the endless exams which occupied all their free time for hobbies. But I think that is affordable and students still have long holidays between the school terms to relax and their hobbies and dream.

On the other hand, some people think adults' life is happier in spite of greater responsibilities. They can earn the money to buy what they want to have, because they are using their own money. As they had finished the school and gained the required certifications for the job, they no need to worry about the exams any more. In that case, adults can have more time to cultivate their own hobbies. But unfortunately, in current fast pace world, many people cannot enjoy the life outside work and being occupied in work for a whole day, until mid-night, in order to keep their job and earn the money to support their daily life.

In conclusion, I think young generations have the happiest time because they no need to worry about the daily life and have time for dreaming.



EddieThreads: 1
Posts: 3
   
Apr 25, 2013, 03:23pm   #2
Your introduction paragraph is good. By the way I have a little suggestion about your second paragraph as follows---

Secondly, they can spend all the time in learning the new knowledge utilize most of their time in gathering knowledge to enrich their intellectual capacity do excise to build a healthy, strong body, and also get sufficient time for working out which is a day-dream reverie for many adults who have to sit in front of the computer all the day and no time to do exercise. (cause not all adults work just by sitting in front of the computer) work all day long and have very little time for their own.


dumiThreads: 1
Posts: 7,259
Author: Duminda
[Moderator] Likes 1402  
Apr 26, 2013, 11:37am   #3
christyzhongs:
Some people think that the days attending school are the happiest time of most people's life while the others think that the adults are happier excluding the greater responsibilities.
........"some" & " most" tend to confuse the reader. Also your idea in this line is not clearly presented. This is what I suggest;
Some people believe that teenage years are the happiest time in one's life while other think elders enjoy better

christyzhongs:
lot of time for dream.

lot of time to dream/ a lot of time for dreaming[font#0000FF][/font]
christyzhongs:
On one hand, teenagers have the happiest time.
...... Why do you start your paragraph like this? I think you should have started the para with the next line




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