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GRE essay.....will technology deteriorate our thinking abilities?


harsha138 2 / 3  
Jul 25, 2013   #1
The world has a significant change over the past years due to the development in technology.The world is always attracted to new technology.This attraction to new technology has made to develop the technology.The development is quiet good and necessary but it has an effect which is deteriorating our ability of thinking.

Technology has made an instrument that can be used to solve a problem in seconds,for us which the problem might take several days to be solved.But people are using the calculators even for most simple problems.This really is a problem which deteriorates our ability to think.It is absolute that, if we are not even applying our mind for simple calculations,our thinking definitely deteriorates.

The internet is a greatest development in technology.It enriches our knowledge.Internet is a pool of topics where we can find info about anything.But besides these advantages, it really has a part in deterioration of our thinking.If we are assigned a work,the first thing we will do is searching the particular work in internet and copying it.Where goes our knowledge and thinking if we are depending on internet and copying some others work.Even a small assignment given in the schools, the students are copying from the internet.It is really a huge deterioration of our thinking.

Another invention that is a revolution is sensor.We can even control a machine with a remote.It is a great invention but besides it is making us lethargic and lazy.The sensors are now even used in fans and lights,not even making us to move a little distance to switch them.The smart t.v, which we can control by motion of hand and movement of eyes. At least for the old televisions we used remote,so at least our fingers will be in movement.But now due to smart t.v we would become more lazy.

Technology of course deteriorates our thinking but it has brought the change.It made a human to think beyond limits.How amazing it is that the u.v rays can be converted to sensors.It is really a great invention.Technology saves our time,it saves our power and it fulfill our needs.

From the above ideas I can say that technology is useful when it is used in limits.Technology is beneficial but it should not be used excessively.
Helinkway 2 / 4  
Jul 25, 2013   #2
But besides these advantages, it really has a part in deterioration of our thinking.

Despite these advantages,...

But now due to smart t.v we would become more lazy

However, nowadays, due to smart t.v, people are more likely to become more lazy.

Remember, never use "but" to start a sentence in writing.

Another thing, I think you shouldn't use "we" in writing, and I think you shouldn't use "deteriorate" and "deterioration" all time, you can replace by "become worse" or "can't not improve".

For example,

The development is quiet good and necessary but it has an effect which is deteriorating our ability of thinking.

--> The development is quiet good and necessary, but it has several effects which make people's ability of thinking cannot improve.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 26, 2013   #3
The world has a significant change over the past years due to the development in technology.The world is always attracted to new technology.This attraction to new technology has made to develop the technology.The development is quiet good and necessary but it has an effect which is deteriorating our ability of thinking.

Your ideas look detached from one another. You need to arrange a better flow with ideas that are flowing more logically and connecting well with the other.

Technology has made an instrument that can be used to solve a problem in seconds,for us which the problem might take several days to be solved

Technology offers solutions that have the capability of solving problems instantly whereas we may take several hours or days to solve them.
OP harsha138 2 / 3  
Jul 29, 2013   #4
thank you for helping me...
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 29, 2013   #5
Another invention that is a revolution is sensor.

... this is my suggestion;
Another revolutionary invention had been the Sensor. .... I capitalized the word to give more emphasis to that.

We can even control a machine with a remote.

This invention enables us to control devices remotely.

.It is a great inventionbutbesides it is making us lethargic and lazy.

... Instead of those two words you can use "however"
[quote=harsha13 At least for the old televisions we used remote controller. quote]


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