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Essay about School Breaks



tomotomoThreads: 5
Posts: 10
Author: Lee Adama
   
Jul 31, 2008, 10:25pm   #1
Hey. Could you guys critique my writing? Be as nasty as you can, ok :p ?

I'd also like your opinion on something. To improve my writing, would working on editing this essay be better, or should I write something new, perhaps another essay, in order to work on writing well the first time around? I sort of feel working on another essay would be better, because I'm kind of bored of working on this one.

Should schools countinue to give students two months break every year or should school divide the two months throughout the year?

Every year many students look forward to the day when the two months holiday from school starts. For some students, the two months break from school is a period of happiness, and a well deserved reprieve from school. For some students, the two months break from school is a period of boredom, as they have an abundance of free time, and are perplexed at what to do with it. These situations prompt the question, is giving students two months break from school every year a good idea? The answer is no, because there is a better option, the option of having two months break interspaced throughout the year instead of consecutively. Giving two months break from school interspaced throughout the year in comparison with giving it consecutively would allow students to have more time to spend on homework and other activities, allow students to be more relaxed and recharged for school, and allow students to retain more of their learning.

Making school year round would give many benefits to students. Assuming there is no increase in workload from the ten months school schedule to the year round schedule, this would allow students in the year round schedule to have more free time by having four days of school per a week instead of the five days of school per week in the ten months schedule. Having more free time during the school year allows students to have more time to spend on homework, studying, and working on projects, which results in less stress. As well, having one day less of school per week than the ten month school schedule in the year round schedule allows students to spend more time on other activities without negatively affecting their school performance. However, giving more time to students is only beneficial if students are using that time on productive activities. It is then recommended that before students have their three day weekends, schools should encourage their students to use the extra time they will have per week on productive activities. Only until most students are engaging in productive activities, the benefits of giving extra time to students per week can be realized. All in all, these are some of the benefits that could be reaped if school was made year round.

There are additional benefits to the ones described previously for students having school year round rather than having school for ten months. In the ten month schedule, there is less utilization per break to be relaxed and recharged for school than in the year round schedule. This is because the two months break in the ten months schedule is given consecutively. When a break is given consecutively the value of each successive break decreases, because there is gradually a point when you're fully relaxed and ready to attend school again, and as a result, any further break gives little to none additional value in relaxation and reenergization for school. This is avoided in the year round schedule. The three days of consecutive break given in the year round schedule is used almost to its full potential, because the break given is about the optimal time needed one needs to be recharged and ready for school again. Another effect avoided in the year round schedule, but not the ten months schedule, is the side effect of students forgetting parts of what they have learned. In the two months consecutive break, most students' knowledge and learning weakens due to lack of use. When those students return to school, teachers have to review and refresh those students' knowledge on previous topics, which wastes time that could be used for other learning. All in all, students would be able to learn more and become more productive if school was year round.



EF_Team5Threads: -
Posts: 2,649
Author: Gloria, EssayForum.com
   
Jul 31, 2008, 10:57pm   #2
Good evening.

Nobody writes perfectly the first time around :). With that said, finding your individual routine and rhythm will help you become a better writer, but boredom and repetitive readings can cause you to miss simple errors. So, the short answer is, do both. Rewriting and editing can be done as you go along (this is how I do it) or it can wait until you are completely finished with the essay. A couple rounds then of "insider" editing can follow, and then it is best to hand it off to someone else for evaluation because you're going to be sick of it, and it will become easy to overlook things that you would normally catch. The trick to this is learning from what others say about your paper; quiz them about your critique, if possible, so that you can then look out for the things they saw the next time you write something. That is the way to become a better writer. Now, on to this essay.

"Every year many students look forward to the day when the two month holiday from school starts. For some students (Remove comma) the two month break from school is a period of happiness (Remove comma) and a well deserved reprieve from school. For other students (Remove comma) the two months break from school is a period of boredom, as they have an abundance of free time (Remove comma) and are perplexed at what to do with it. These situations prompt the question, is giving students a two month break from school every year a good idea? The answer is no, because there is a better option, the option of having the equivalent of the two month break interspaced throughout the year instead of consecutively. Giving a two month break from school interspaced throughout the year in comparison with giving it consecutively would allow students to have more time to spend on homework and other activities, allow students to be more relaxed and recharged for school, and allow students to retain more of their learning.

Making school year round would give many benefits to students. Assuming there is no increase in workload from the ten month school schedule to the year round schedule, this would allow students in the year round schedule to have more free time by having four days of school per a week instead of the five days of school per week in the ten months schedule. Having more free time during the school year allows students to have more time to spend on homework, studying, and working on projects, which results in less stress. As well, having one day less of school per week than the ten month school schedule in the year round schedule allows students to spend more time on other activities without negatively affecting their school performance. What about preparing them for the "real world"? After all, most jobs do not allow employees to take a two month block off every year. The schedule you are advocating would prepare them for this routine once they are out of school, instead of experiencing the "shock" of having a demanding year-round job.) However, giving more time to students is only beneficial if students are using that time on productive activities. It is then recommended that before students have their three day weekends, schools should encourage their students to use the extra time they will have per week on productive activities Such as? Examples?). Only until most students are engaging in productive activities will the benefits of giving extra time to students per week can be realized. All in all, these are some of the benefits that could be reaped if school was made year round.

There are additional benefits to the ones described previously for students having school year round rather than having school for ten months. In the ten month schedule, there is less utilization per break to be relaxed and recharged for school than in the year round schedule. This is because the two month break in the ten month schedule is given consecutively. When a break is given consecutively the value of each successive break decreases (Remove comma) because there is gradually a point when one is fully relaxed and ready to attend school again (Remove comma) and as a result (Remove comma) any further break gives little to no additional value in relaxation and reenergization for school. This is avoided in the year round schedule. The three days of consecutive break given in the year round schedule is used almost to its full potential (Remove comma) because the break given is about the optimal time one needs to be recharged and ready for school again. Another effect avoided in the year round schedule, but not the ten months schedule, is the side effect of students forgetting parts of what they have learned. In the two month consecutive break, most students' knowledge and learning weakens due to lack of use. When those students return to school, teachers have to review and refresh those students' knowledge on previous topics, which wastes time that could be used for other learning. All in all, students would be able to learn more and become more productive if school was year round."

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


tomotomoThreads: 5
Posts: 10
Author: Lee Adama
   
Aug 1, 2008, 05:31pm   #3
Thanks alot Gloria for your awesome advice and reply! Now, I know what to improve. Thanks again !


EF_Team5Threads: -
Posts: 2,649
Author: Gloria, EssayForum.com
   
Aug 1, 2008, 09:09pm   #4
You are so very welcome!
Keep up the good work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com




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