( IELTS essay) prevention of crimes makes no difference

Crime rate is a problem all over the world. Some believe that crime prevent ion will make no difference. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The ever increasing rate of crimes became a puzzling issue for governments in so many countries. Some people believe that these preventive measures are a waste of time, money and efforts. However, I will argue that preventive measures will be favorable to the family and society if proper measures are taken effectively.

To begin with, there are so many reasons behind committing crimes. Poverty, unemployment, perverted value system and so on are some among them. All these causes are unable to wipe away from the community completely and thus the crime rate will increase. Even after strong regulation and education, the offenders are increasing in number. Therefore, so many people hold the belief that the prevention of crime is useless.

Nevertheless, I feel, if we took stringent measures in three different levels, family, society and government, with proper follow ups we can reduce crime to an extent. Firstly, the family should be supportive and inspirational to cultivate good values to bring up the children as a valuable member of the society. Vigilant parental actions in their children's friendships and activities outside the home enables them to prevent the misdeeds and bad company which make them criminals later. The knowledge of good values help them to distinguish the right from the wrong in a better way. Consequently, the offences will reduce. Secondly, society can do much more to convert an individual into a good person. Prevention of child labor, support to poor families, acceptance of a criminal when he came back as a good person and forth, are the good contributions from the part of society.

Finally, the government as a public institution, has a powerful role in reducing crime. New developmental programs, vocational trainings and practical education will offer job opportunities and reduce poverty. Offenders in the jail should be given good moral education and vocational training to meet their expenses after release. Stringent rules, empowerment of police force, regular follow up and suitable punishments may help to trim down the crime rates. For instance, proper continuous patrolling in problematic places may reduce crime rates due to the supervision of strict police forces.

In short, I still believe that, with determination, dedication and follow-ups from family, society and government can make a great difference. It is foolish to dream a crimeless world and is unrealistic to believe that preventive measures are not fruitful at all.

These causes can not be wiped away from the society and thus, crime rate increases.

I prefer not to use words like "thus" and "etc" in essays because they sort of break the flow of the essay.


Even after strong regulation and education, offenders continue to increase in number.

Ahmad has done great editing as always :)


This introduction is pretty good, of course with Ahmad's suggestions too. You have avoided high tech jargon here :P


... this is a strong sentence. Very good!


All these causes are unable to wiped off from society completely

Hai....
Dumi, Ahmad and Pahan...
A big thanks to Ahmad...
It was really great...
: if my introduction is good full credit goes to Ahmad...

1st part i have no idea about how i will discuss prevention is meaningless..So blindly wrote like this...(:

I try toexpress my idea like this preventing the root case of crime in three levels will help to reduce crime..

Second para starting sentance i changed like this..

Neverthless, the prevention of crime from the the root level will be more effective. It should be implimented in three levels, family, society and government..

The other sentance that u asked my opinion..

I liked your change in the sentance..
But i add 1 more word: people. ...some people...
Thank you so much...

Thanks Dumi and Pahan for your great help..
Tessy