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TOEFL essay: It is more important to work at a job that you enjoy...



AzeriThreads: 10
Posts: 207
Author: H.B.Sadikhova
   
Apr 20, 2010, 11:38am   #1
It is more important to work at a job that you enjoy than it is to earn a lot of money. Do you agree or disagree?

Although today most people look for jobs offering good earnings, I believe that working at jobs that we enjoy is more important. People enjoying their jobs will approach to the performance of their duties with interest, desire and higher responsibility. Enjoyable jobs are preconditions of good earnings as well, since people which are pleased with their jobs are inclined to show high level of performance, which, consequently will reverberate on their remuneration.
People enjoying their jobs regard fulfillment of their duties as something exciting, interesting, and promising new opportunities. They are encouraged to display high level of proficiency when performing the jobs they like and treat their jobs with respect working heartily on each project independent of its importance. Such jobs inspire worker to work continuously on themselves and enhance the level of their performance to get perfect result. They tend to treat their jobs with due diligence and responsibility and are able to find positive and novelty in activities that might seem boring and dull to others. Such reverent attitude to jobs would undoubtedly affect the output of performed work, bringing emotional satisfaction to worker and contribute to the development of whole business. The latter aspect may foster increase in remuneration and provide the worker with fringe benefits.
Furthermore, pleasant jobs also affect people's mood and character, as well as relation with others. People working at jobs they enjoy remain active and energetic during the whole day and do not easily get tired or annoyed with their duties in comparison with those that consider commuting and working as something preventing them from their favorite activities. They do not consider their duties as obligatory and onerous ones and highly appreciate emotional satisfaction that they gain performing them. This has a positive effect on their relations with people around, rendering them sociable and bringing them respect of their colleagues and employers.
In summary, working at jobs that people enjoy makes them more proficient and satisfies their emotional and material needs, by bringing them inner peace and financial security respectively. Therefore, I think that it is more important to work at a job that the one enjoy.



a 100 hillsThreads: 4
Posts: 15
Author: MUTABAZI DOUGLAS
   
Apr 21, 2010, 06:51am   #2
I spend a very miserable year on a job that earned me something relatively higher than my peers but one that left me feeling so ugly and used inside.
I don't know about others but I can trace all these wrong career choices to my very outdated and shallow education system. It's a little surprising but in any of the educational stages in my education have I had a proper career orientation or advise. This meant that I ended doing what was considered popular in society, irrespective of what my preferences were or my ability to perform in it. So years later i find myself in this hell hole called a job.

What normally happens when we put enjoyment down for the cash is what you see in most Third world countries. Job vs Work or a career vs an occupation. Its tedious. It's stressing. It's lifeless. It's putting the money or materials before your well being. It's unwise.


EF_KevinThreads: 33
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Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
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Apr 22, 2010, 12:40am   #3
People enjoying their jobs will approach to the performance of their duties with interest, desire and higher responsibility.
It sounds better without the word higher.

They are encouraged to display high levels of proficiency when performing the jobs they like and treat their jobs with respect working heartily on each project independent regardless of its importance. Such jobs inspire workers to work continuously on themselves and enhance the level of their performance to get perfect results. They tend to treat ...


In summary, when people work at jobs they enjoy it makes them more proficient and satisfies their emotional and material needs by bringing them inner peace and financial security. respectively. Therefore, I think that it is more important to work at a job that the one enjoys.


:-)


AzeriThreads: 10
Posts: 207
Author: H.B.Sadikhova
   
Apr 22, 2010, 10:19am   #4
thanks both for suggestions!

Kevin, please advise me on some issues. What do you think of sentence structure and style of the essay? What do I have to improve besides grammar mistakes?


EF_KevinThreads: 33
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Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
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Apr 23, 2010, 08:18pm   #5
Well, you write very well now and have a large vocabulary. The level of skill you have now is high, so it is time to start really expressing profound, philosophical ideas.

This essay says it is important to enjoy your job because of the benefits of enjoying your job, like better performance and better enjoyment of the work day -- but that is still quite simple and obvious.

You have a large vocabulary in English, so you can write about a concept that most people have never thought of! What is your most interesting insight about the ability to enjoy one's work?

Share something completely creative and original, something that never occurred to me.

:-)




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