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an essay about why laptop is important to me?



wbsxeThreads: 1
Posts: 1
Author: Diana
   
Jan 22, 2011, 04:36pm   #1
hello their ,

I am trying to write an essay about my laptop :

could you please give me a feedback about grammar or punctuation mistakes ?

could you also please give me some feedback ?

here is my essay:

Everyone must be having an important object in her or his life. It could be a souvenir, gift or book. However, the most important object to me is my laptop, black Dell inspiron with the model number PP39l. I bought my black laptop on August 2009 in Best Buy. The laptop is rectangle shape, a 15.6 inches screen and 10 pounds of weight. It acted like my friend that I needed and gave a hand in everything that I have to do such as the school homework, connection with people, and relaxing.
Beside the fact, I really like the size of the screen because it makes my eyes are more comfortable than the small size of the screen when I have to do my school homework online. The laptop lets me browse online on different websites in order to complete academic assignments, check with email, and surf on the internet to find out the study materials. Secondly, my laptop is also helping me connect with people. As an international student, I missed my family and friends a lot after I went aboard alone. The laptop lets me chart with my family and other friends online. Sometimes, although I and my family are far from each other, we also could talk and see each other by using laptop camera. The function of this is convenient and saving money. Moreover, I could visit my space online where I could update my photos and daily records of my life. Then my friends would know what happened to my life recently. Thirdly, my laptop makes me to relax. When I stressed out of my school assignments or other trivial things, I could listen to the music, read an interesting novel or find out about the latest news to make me feel relief.
To sum up, I could not live without my laptop. There is an experience that I would not ever forget. It was about two years ago, I went out for a trip with my friends and I left my laptop at home. Before I left home, my litter sister asked me to use my laptop and promised she would not broke it. I agreed to her request. However, I could not open my laptop after I came home. I knew something happened to my laptop and no one was admitted it, especially my little sister. I was really angry, but I cannot do anything about it. So I sent my laptop back to the company. They took about fifteen days to repair my laptop. I have nothing to do during those fifteen days; I could not surf on the internet, read a novel, chart with my friends, check my email and even listen to the music. I do not want to surf any day like that. It is really disaster to me. At least my sister admitted that she accidentally poured a glass of water on my laptop.
Therefore, the laptop is an important object for me. The laptop is an electronic device with many uses such as providing study materials, connecting with people and relaxing. The laptop is not only a electronic device, but also a friend of me.



EF_KevinThreads: 33
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Jan 24, 2011, 04:29pm   #2
Everyone needs to have an important object in her or his life.

Capitalize: Inspiron

with the model number PP39l. I bought my black (you already said it was black) laptop in August 2009 in at Best Buy.

Capitalize Internet

... and promised she would not broke break it.

I agreed to her request. However, I could not open my laptop after I came home. ---oh, no!

This is a cute essay....

but I could not do anything about it.

I have had nothing to do during those fifteen days; I could not surf on the Internet, read a novel, chart chat with my friends, check my email and or even listen to the music. I do did not want to ...

Just practice writing verbs in the past tense.
I do not want to... I did not want to... I cannot do anything.... I could not do anything....

:-)




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