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IELTS ESSAY The importance of robots and their influences


tleuliyeva 3 / 5  
Feb 9, 2011   #1
Hello! I nedd help with my grammar and organization! I appreciate anything you can suggest!

Full title: Some people believe that robots are getting increasingly important in our lives. However, others think robots are extremely dangerous. What is your opinion? Why?

In today's modern life technology have contributed in people's lives in many ways. Especially robotic systems with artificial intelligence can perform many industrial duties and getting to be increasingly important for some people. However, there are those who think that robots have negative affect for people and can bring extreme danger in the future. These points of view must be addressed accordingly.

Today, it has been proven, that robotic systems have benefited in many ways. For instance, few robots have helped children with developmental disabilities; others have improved the health status of people with different deficiencies. People who have experienced therapy robots in their lives have commented that robots brought confident in their lives as well as solved problems with their health. The other fact is that in some industrial countries robots are helping children with deficiencies to develop faster and have influenced positively to their behaviour.

However, some people consider that robots may be extremely dangerous for people. One reason for this is that robots have artificial intelligent and they cannot replace human intelligent in solving different problems. For instance, few robots have started to operate in some hospitals and it is very dangerous for patients, as robots cannot be responsible for their action. Secondly, robots may pose the possible increase of unemployment in the future. This can be evidenced, as employers will choose robots' work force instead of human beings', because robots do not need any salary, moreover they will not complain or feel sick.

After analyzing these two points of argument I think that robots should not replace human beings with doing different kind of jobs, because no machine can replace human intelligence as well as cannot be responsible for their action. Moreover production of high number of robots can increase unemployment rate in the countries.

Thank you for your time!
skayode 1 / 3  
Feb 9, 2011   #2
the first mistake is that 'today's modern life serve as a tautology'. why not "nowadays". pls find a fact to start with. you never stated which side you are on; either the negative or the positive side. please one point-one paragraph. you need to state your position in the first paragraph. i love your essay it is wonderful!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 17, 2011   #3
Thanks, Sarah and Moon, you are great!

Assel, I think you should type the essay again and try to use the corrections they gave. Do you have any questions? Even if you are not sure about some of the changes, just try to type the essay again and we will look to see if you still have errors!

:-)


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