In modern society, many people tend to focus on health care issue; however, I disagree with this statement that government should pay more attention on health. Here is why.Your intro is too short and simple for a professional writer and it may lack necessary info.
First, environment becomes worse in modern society. If governments
can not do not
pay attention to environmental issues
and provide a clean environment for residents,
It may be
reason to effect residents' health conditions. For example, I live in Taipei,
a highly develop in manufactories city a highly developed city
. Taipei has a great number of vehicles which emit a great amount of
bad air and pollute this city polluted air
. it is
due to the fact that government does not concentrate on public transportation issue
so that, which makes
city's environment become
worse; in addition, it causes a lot of people to
suffer from diseases
because they inhale too much
air. Therefore, it is more important to pay attention to environmental issues
Moreover, putting a lot of waste water to the river directly, factories avoid paying money to deal with waste water. Factories directly emit lots of waste water to rivers; however, they avoid paying money to deal with this problem.
If government does not limit them
city's water resource, it may cause residents to drink waste water. Kaohsiung, another big city in my country, has a huge problem in water pollution. People in Kaohsiung are
afraid of drinking tap-water, so
they must pay more money to buy water in convenient stores; however, it is not convenient and unfair for them. If they drink a lot of tap-water, it may harm their bodies and force them to pay more money to go to hospital. Therefore, to handle the basic health problem, government should eliminate the environmental problems first.
For the reasons above, paying more attention to health issues, government can not solve the real health problems. A lot of people exposure to bad environment, especially in urbane areas. If government does not pay more attention to solve the basic environment problems, it is difficult to attain the achievements that enhance residents' health
. Thus, I believe that government should pay more attention
.I just focus on your grammar mistakes, not your ideas.
Hope it helps.