Unanswered [8] / Featured [1] / URGENT [0]   

    help     or  

Essay Forum / Writing Feedback /      

Essay on Advantages of Living in a Big City



Vinh ngaThreads: 2
Posts: 2
Author: dinh
   
Nov 16, 2007, 03:44am   #1
Big city is where you can see many vehicles,many skyscrapers, many peple with a hurry pace of life. That place can fascinate us very much due to its light and luxury.Nowadays, more and more pople want to live there because they see many advantages. Indeed, in a big city, people can have the best chances to work as well as can enjoy the best service and entertaiment.

In a big city, people can take the chaces to study and work best. There are many good University for u to choose in a big city. There you can express your ability to study what you like. Moreover, when you graduate, you also find it easier to find chances to get a good job with good salary, that is quite difficult in small cities or countrysides; because there concentrates many big companies and groups. Hence, many graduate students choose big cities to live and work. In short, it is where you can take advantages f yourself.

In addition, in a big city you can enjoy the best service and entertainment. Because there are many rich people here, they can invest much money to get the best for them. Lives in a big city are quite luxurius but you don't have to be worried when you are sick or suffer a disease because there you can find good doctors for you, as long as you have muich money. What's more, in a big city you can enjoy new entertainment such as new games or luxury games.
Many people can argue that living in a big city makes them tired with noise and dash. They like the slow pace of life in a countryside. But I think that you can live there for a long ime because the young always like to enjoy new things and want to have much money, which is very difficult to do in a countryside. However, when you get older, especially when you retire, a countryside wll the best choice to live.

In summary, living in a big city has many advantages. However, you have to try your best to overcome all difficulties such as hard competition in workplace or polluted environment. you shuold not complain when face up to disadvantages of it.



hoanglevinhThreads: -
Posts: 2
Author: Vinh Hoang
   
Nov 16, 2007, 06:36am   #2
I highly appreciate this essay. It has a clear structure. It's great!


EF_Team2Threads: 1
Posts: 2,195
Author: Sarah, EssayForum.com
   
Nov 17, 2007, 12:55am   #3
Greetings!

You make some very good points in your essay! I have just a few editing suggestions for you:

Big cities are where you can see many vehicles, many skyscrapers, and many people with a hurried pace of life.

Indeed, in a big city, people can have the best opportunities for work, as well as enjoying the best service and entertainment.

In a big city, people have the best chance to study and work.

There are many good universities to choose from in a big city.

Moreover, when you graduate, you also find it easier to find opportunities to get a good job with a good salary. That is quite difficult in small cities or countrysides, where there are not as many many big companies and groups. Hence, many graduate students choose big cities to live and work. In short, it is where you can take advantage of a city's benefits for yourself.

There are many rich people in cities, because they are a good place to invest money.

Lives in a big city can be quite luxurious and you do not have to be worried when you are sick or suffer a disease because you can find good doctors there, as long as you have a lot of money.

What's more, in a big city you can enjoy new entertainment such as new games or luxury games. - This is a little vague; what kinds of games? What do you mean by "luxury games"?


Many people can argue that living in a big city makes them tired with noise and dashing about.

However, when you get older, especially when you retire, the countryside is the best choice of places to live.

However, you have to try your best to overcome all difficulties such as hard competition in the workplace or a polluted environment. You should not complain when faced with the disadvantages of it. - Your conclusion is not the best place to introduce new ideas like competitive workplaces, pollution, or disadvantages. If you want to mention these things, talk about them in the body of the essay; otherwise, do not bring them in, for the first time, in the conclusion. Use the conclusion to summarize only what you have already said.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com




Essay Forum / Writing Feedback / Unanswered [this forum] / Featured / Similar

Similar discussions:


Random: IELTS Task 2- Modern buildings vs traditional buildings


This thread has been closed.

Home - Search - About Us - Faq - EF Contributors - Contact Us

Copyright © 2006-2014 EssayForum.com  Disclaimer, Privacy Policy, TOS  EssayForum RSS