I'm a senior in high school and I have to write an essay about education and the education system. I am having the hardest time writing it for some reason.
I would like some feedback on what i've written so far. I would really appreciate it.
"I believe that our own experience instructs us that the secret of Education lies in respecting the pupil. It is not for you to choose what he shall know, what he shall do. It is chosen and foreordained, and he only holds the key to his own secret. By your tampering and thwarting and too much governing he may be hindered from his end and kept out of his own. Respect the child. Wait and see the new product of Nature. Nature loves analogies, but not repetitions. Respect the child. Be not too much his parent. Trespass not on his solitude." (Emerson 103)
An education can be defined a million different ways. To a little kid first starting school, education may simply be a word too big to spell or a world yet to be explored. To an adult, an education may very well be the defining point of a successful future. However, with those countless definitions come the opinions on how an education should be achieved. Today in schools, an education is supposedly achieved through the hard work and dedication of gifted teachers, instilling in many reluctant children the things they will need in the future. But how far is too far? Is it alright for a teacher to tell a student what he or she should know? Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "it is not for [the teacher] to choose what [the student] should know, what he shall do. It is chosen and foreordained, and he only holds the key..." It seems this generation has not heeded Emerson's warnings of a world in which teachers produce cloned pupils, who are full of worthless information and ill-prepared for their futures. The ultimate definition of a true education is to provide the means that let the pupil explore what he or she deems important for a successful future. It is the pupil who holds the key, and ultimately it should be the pupil who opens his own door of Education. It is in no way right to let the teacher advise the student as to what he should learn or how he should achieve his education. In a world where anything is possible, it seems a true education is hard to find. Instead of forcing millions of diverse students to pour themselves over the same tedious assignments or make them endure identical lectures on why each teacher's subject is the most important, the education system should take each individual student's interests and goals to heartïteaching what truly matters to the pupil, not cookie- cutter goals for everyone to accomplish. No person wants to sit in a prison cell filled with ten to fifteen years of worthless information they will soon forget. They only want to know the fundamentals that can help them achieve their fullest potential. That is a true education and what more schools should strive to achieve.
For years, students sit before a large chalkboard, appearing to pay attention while words or numbers are thrown onto the board in smudged, sloppy handwriting. Over and over reluctant cries can be heard in every classroom, "When will I ever need this?" or "How will that help me in life?" The truth is if the student isn't willing to learn the topic, they will never use it in life.
Thank you so much, Gloria. The first quote was from Emerson and I wrote it exactly how it appeared in his essay, therefore I had to capitalize Education.
Thanks for telling me about the paragraphs,too. Now, though, I am having trouble finding my thesis. I'm not even sure if what I thought was my thesis was actually the thesis.
What do you think my thesis is? And do you have any suggestions on how I develop it?
Thanks
Good afternoon.
Thank you for clarifying about the quotation; you are right to write it exactly as how you found it, and make sure to include the proper citation.
As to the thesis, without knowing the prompt for the essay it is difficult for me to ascertain whether or not the thesis is appropriate. So far your thesis fits the rest of the essay, but I don't know if it answers the prompt or not.
Moderator, EssayForum.com
