Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?
In general eating always is very important in our life. There are some people who prefer to eating at food stands or restaurant, however other people who prefer to prepare and eating food at home. Bothe options have their advantages and disadvantages. I prefer to eat food at home for three reasons: freedom, save money, and quality.
First of all, the difference between eating at home and eating at restaurant is freedom. I can enjoy when I eat at home. For example, I can watch TV and I can put any channel I want; moreover, I can play video game or call my friends. However, I can smoke when I eat at home. On other hand, when I eat at restaurant, I have to obey rules. I can wear anything I need when I eat at home; also, I can eat at kitchen or on bedroom.
Second, the difference between eating at home and eating at restaurant is save money. Eating at home always is one of the best ways to save money. For instance, I can buy food for all my family in whole week; also, when I have a party at my home, I can cook food for everyone there. On the other hand, when I bring food from restaurant, it is expensive for me. Eating at restaurant is more expensive than eating at home.
Third, the difference between eating at home and eating at restaurant is quality. Home is always clean and healthy. For example, I can cook any food I want without oil; as well, I can put any taste I need sweet or spicy. On other hand, eating at restaurant is not healthy because they put more oil in food; still, I'll be overweight.
In conclusion, I prefer to eat at prepare and eating food at home because freedom, save money, and quality.
Is this an undergraduate admissions essay or an SAT topic essay? I don't know who is gonna read this, but I'll try my best to give feedback. :)
In general eating always is very important in our life. There are some people who prefer to eating at food stands or restaurant, however other people who prefer to prepare and eating food at home. Bothe options have their advantages and disadvantages. I prefer to eat food at home for three reasons: freedom, save money, and quality.
The first paragraph really doesn't tell me anything about you and seems to be very formulaic. I see that there is the typical thesis sentence and a typical very "blah" and general first sentence. Make your intro exciting and quirky. That will keep you remembered by admissions officers. Be a little more creative with this. You can do it!!! :D
First of all, the difference between eating at home and eating at restaurant is freedom. I can enjoy when I eat at home. For example, I can watch TV and I can put any channel I want; moreover, I can play video games or call my friends. However, I can smoke when I eat at home. On other hand, when I eat at restaurant, I have to obey rules. I can wear anything I need want when I eat at home; also, I can eat at in the kitchen or on bedroom.
Honestly, this is horribly written. Again, I see you are following a formula. There is nothing interesting and concrete about the first sentence. Instead, you could write: "What I hate most about restaurants is that there is a sense of etiquette that needs to be followed. I seek freedom and I can only find it when I am at home." I think this is a little bit more interesting. Also, all of your ideas seem to be listed as opposed to discussed. Elaborate on them. For example, you can talk about how it would be embarrassing to call your friends about crushes or inside jokes and erupt with laughter in a restaurant .
Second, the difference between eating at home and eating at restaurant is save money. Eating at home always is one of the best ways to save money.Why spend lots of money on restaurant food when you can still eat and fill your stomach more affordably? For instance, I can buy food for all my family in whole week; also, when I have a party at my home, I can cook food for everyone there. On the other hand, when I bring food from restaurant, it is expensive for me. Eating at restaurant is more expensive than eating at home.
My sentence is just a suggestion and does not have to be used. I just want you to break out of the formula you set up. Again elaborate on the ideas you present in this paragraph.
Third, the difference between eating at home and eating at restaurant is quality. Home is always clean and healthy. For example, I can cook any food I want without oil; as well, I can put any taste I need sweet or spicy. On other hand, eating at restaurant is not healthy because they put more oil in food; still, I'll be overweight.
Same criticism as before. Elaborate and make it more interesting.
In conclusion, I prefer to eat at prepare and eating food at home because freedom, save money, and quality.
Seriously? This is not a conclusion. This is just a sentence that doesn't add anything to the essay.
Overall, the essay needs lots of work. I think you should just go ahead and rewrite it. Some of it just seems pointless to talk about. If anything, I think you should talk about one reason that you prefer to eat at home. Focus on that one reason and elaborate on it. Tell a story. Be more interesting. I hope you're more interesting in person than in this essay. If you are, I want to read it in this essay. Right now, I'm just reading the essay of a really boring person.
Can you please look at my essay?
