Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


Eassy For Toefl: computer for students vs books for library


jon_snow 8 / 28 5  
Mar 7, 2014   #1
Question: Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy - computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.

Answer:

As technology advances capability of computer has also improved. Now, most probably the widely used electronics device in the world is computer and it's not because for its low cost but also for its diverse usages. If my school has money to purchase either computer or books i will definitely suggest to buy the computer and this is for two reasons.

The main reason is we can now read different books in computer. At present, we have different word processing software as well as reading software. With the help of those software we can easily read any book. For example, last year I was looking for a biology book for my homework. However, I did not buy that at the beginning of the year, as my teacher did not focus on that particular book. Anyway, at the end of the year, he gave us an assignment from that particular book and he gave us only 2 days to submit that assignment. As the bookstores were far from my home and i had other course work to do, therefore, it was not feasible for me to go to the bookstores and buy my book. I took help of computer and internet, from internet i downloaded the book and finished my assignment on time. As you can see, buying new computer will be more helpful to the student than buying new books for library.

The another reason is we can use computer for many other purpose beside reading. A book only talk about on one thing, however, computer can teach us different things. For instance, l learned Java - a popular computer programming language, last year with the help of computer. There are many books on Java in the market, however, without practicing the code you will not have a good understanding of that subject. And to do your practice you need a computer where java is install. Moreover, we can learn java without books. I learned Java programming without any help of book. There are lots of tutorials on java in internet. I watched them and practiced in my computer and that's it. I learned java in one month. This experience taught me that we can use computer as a replacement of books.

In sum, some people will oppose the idea, buying new computer instead of books. However, I believe with the help of computer we can read the books and can do many other things, so it will be a better option for us to buy new computer than books.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 7, 2014   #2
Now, most probably the widely used electronics device in the world is computer and it's not because for its low cost but also for its diverse usages

I like if you improved the presentation of this sentence;
Today, there is hardly any institution, be it deals with business, academics or administration, that does not use computers.

The main reason is we can now read different books in computer

The main reason why computers are more useful in a library than books is that they would enable access to a huge range of books at a very low cost.

At present, we have different word processing software as well as reading software.

This sentence is not really required for this para :(
OP jon_snow 8 / 28 5  
Mar 7, 2014   #3
thank you dumi for those wonderful suggestions. i am trying to give my best while i am writing. From our previous conversation you already know that i am facing time management problem, therefore, i am focusing on time management more and more. in this regard, i tried to keep my writing on a strict timing. However, i failed again :P. But best part is i am improving, this time it took 35 minutes to write and edit. :D Nevertheless, to do so, i had to minimize my time on the editing part. May be you have noticed, my word count has reduced. By the way, even i am not fully satisfy with my word choice and sentence structure of this essay... :(

apart for all those thing, i am an optimist and always hope for the best. i hope i will succeed on this time battle in near future and will write a good essay on time. :)

by the way, you are always welcome to write this kind of constructive criticism. :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 26, 2014   #4
A book only talk about on one thing

Subject-verb agreement. A book only talkS ...

one thing

Write precisely. Avoid using general expressions that makes views sound too simple.

There are many books on Java sell in the market,

In sum,

This item is highly common.
Use these less common lexical items:
The aforementioned evidence examines that ...
Given this evidence, it can be seen that ...
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 26, 2014   #5
Well, you are going through the same emotional process that everybody who takes up TOEFL. However, you can feel that you keep improving day by day. Doing your essays with time is very good as it is the best way to train yourself to manage time. Also, follow the structure we suggested very seriously. Have some ready made phrases that can be used in all your essays. If you have met the word count minimum requirement, then that's fine. Do not worry too much about that, but need to maintain at least them minimum. Read others' essays on similar topics to pick up good points :)
sntinn 8 / 36 9  
Mar 27, 2014   #6
I find that "help of ..." is the phrase that you use very often.
I would recommend that you should find the other expression in place of "help of".
For example,

I took help of computer and internet, from internet i downloaded the book and finished my assignment on time.

In fact, as a reader, I can catch up with your idea that the computer and internet are your best friends when you do your homework, so you can simply say,

" I use computer and internet to download books and help me finish my assignments on time."

With the help of those software

can be replaced by "the advantage of those software"

I learned Java programming without any help of book.

>>> without the books.


Home / Writing Feedback / Eassy For Toefl: computer for students vs books for library
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳