Thanks for any comment!
issue:
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
response:
I disagree with the statement that as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. The statement might be made without careful consideration. In my opinion, it is quite the contrary. Although we are relying more on technology, as it advances, the ability of humans to think for themselves is not deteriorating, if not improving.
In the first place, if the ability of humans to think for themselves does deteriorate, then the technology cannot advance so fast. We all rely on computers today. Admittedly, when we are accustomed to using computers, our calculating abilities may deteriorate, and I think that is why some people infer that we cannot think for ourselves as we could before. However, I must say it is not the case. First, the developing of computers needs the ability of humans to think for themselves. Technology development is obviously not an easy task, so if technology is advancing, then our ability is not undermined. Technology is just a tool, and it is we humans that make the world change. Second, technology is not always easy to utilize. Many people fail again and again in pursuing a driving license, though we rely on automobiles so much. It is impossible for many people to be able to drive airplanes, not to say spacecraft. That is, if humans are getting stupid, we cannot develop or make use of technology. As a result, it is not the reliance on technology that undermines the ability of humans to think for themselves (if any). However, it is just the improvement of such ability that enhance the technology development and hence our reliance on it.
In the second place, as we can rely more and more on technology, we can work and study more and more efficiently, which saves us much time and effort. Using machines and computers to do demanding jobs such as transporting and computing, humans are free to do more important things, including, to think. As cars were invented, people did have no need to think hard about how to travel thirty miles in an hour, while they might begin the journey to realize their dream of flying. From this perspective, technology leaves us more time to think and our ability to think for ourselves certainly does not deteriorate.
Admittedly, in some cases, reliance on technology might make some people think less for themselves. For example, students may resort to computers before thinking hard about their assignments. Nonetheless, it is not always the case. Some people under certain circumstances might lose their ability to think for themselves, while this has nothing to do with other people's benefiting from technology, and does not mean that reliance on technology undermine humans' ability to think.
To sum up, my opinion, is just in contrast to the statement, that the development of technology and utilization of it should for the most part improve our ability to think for ourselves.
Hi.
it's better to mention the key points of your essay in the introduction paragraph and to rephrase them in the conclusion as well. Moreover, adverbs such as "admittedly" are not appropriate for academic arguments; It seems that mostly opinionated people use these kind of expressions and I think they are not pleasing to readers.
thanks
I need your help too. :)
I disagree with the statement that as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems
I wish you had been more creative and opened the essay with a good hook that grabs the reader's attention. It's better to keep your thesis as the final statement of your introduction.
Okkkk... then how do you begin the essay?
One of the following rhetorical devices is the most common: a generalization about the topic, a quotation, a short anecdote to set-up your position, a historical framework, a piece of news illustrating the relevance of the issue.
In the second place, as we can rely more and more on technology, we can work and study more and more efficiently, which saves us much time and effort.
I feel you need to improve presentation of this idea;
Secondly, reliance on technology has enabled us to arrive at more efficient and convenient solutions, especially with regard to time and efforts we put in for a task.For example, students may resort to computers before thinking hard about their assignments. Nonetheless, it is not always the case. Some people under certain circumstances might lose their ability to think for themselves, while this has nothing to do with other people's benefiting from technology, and does not mean that reliance on technology undermine humans' ability to think.
.... this example is not at all clear. You better re-phrase this one.
