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(control / opportunities /compliance) important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)



KengThreads: 40
Posts: 201
Author: Panyapon Chukate
   
Feb 28, 2011, 01:07am   #1
This is a difficult essay and i need you all to revise it and give me some feedback
I really want it to improve my writing essay.
Thank you


What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.


In my view, a good supervisor has a lot of responsibilities which directly refer to the business administration in many companies. By main qualities that are very important are hard-working, generosity and obedience to a company's regulation, the company has a bright future and success of business transaction.

First, my friend, Choo, spends full-time checking and control the working of his subordinates. He has been responsible for supervising and evaluating a lot many personnel in the company. Due to his hard contribution, he can differentiate people who are lazy from those who are diligent. Therefore, the company prospers in a positive way.

Second, He always gives opportunities to his squads who failed to do their duty.
Mr Choo is not much worried about failure of his subordinates although it causes a lot of trouble for the company. He said that everyone has his second chance and when you do wrong, you can make it right. By this policy, all the personnel in a company fully can put heart and soul to their work and result in a lot of success.

Third, he strictly complies with the rule by punishing everyone who is against the company.
Mr Choo is not so kind that he let his squads do whatever they want. When they do not behave well, they must tell exactly reasons for it. If they are right, he will not punish them. However, he is badly severe on those who commit illegally and his heart does not go out to them. For example, Mr Choo immediately sack personnel, in charge of accounting, who intentionally write a wrong figure in the revenue report and do not care for whatever professional backgrounds they have.

To sum up, a company cannot succeed in the business world without internal working evaluation of personnel by a supervisor. If he has these qualities like hard-working, generosity and adherence to firm's rules, the company will grow very profitably. For Mr Choo, he is very responsive and honest and owing to his keen supervising skill contributes good accomplishments of the company.
m00nyThreads: 2
Posts: 36
Author: Moon Dan
   
Feb 28, 2011, 05:42am   #2
By main qualities that are very important are hard-working, generosity and obedience to a company's regulation, the company has a bright future and success of business transaction. Those qualities indeed help company, however they are not the principal key to "bright future" - with other words, I'm not really sure, if one is possessing mentioned values, company can succeed evidently?! Consider market highs/downs, product popularity ...

First, my friend, Choo, spends full-time checking and control the working of his subordinates. First, my friend, Choo, spends full-time checking and controlling the work of his subordinates.

To sum up, a company cannot succeed in the business world without internal working evaluation of personnel by a supervisor. If he has these qualities like hard-working, generosity and adherence to firm's rules, the company will grow very profitably. Same mistake as in the preamble.

About this friend Choo ... is he a friend or hardly an acquaintance? You essay is "over-dosed" with Choo's decisions and actions. I suggest rewriting and splitting all his acts in one single paragraph. Plus, consider adding your experiences with bosses ..
KengThreads: 40
Posts: 201
Author: Panyapon Chukate
   
Feb 28, 2011, 07:55am   #3
Thank you for your feedback. I learn a lot from your revision.

I try hard to write another essay with accurate and logical details and examples
EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,204
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
[Moderator]   
Mar 7, 2011, 04:40pm   #4
Try to use those corrections when you type the essay again. Type it again just to practice the correct grammar. Your English is already very good with just a few small errors.

When they do not behave well, they must tell exactly what reasons they have for it.

However, he is badly very severe on those who commit illegally inexcusable acts, and his heart does not go out to them.

For example, Mr Choo immediately sacks personnel in charge of accounting, who intentionally write a wrong figure in the revenue report, and he does not care for whatever what professional backgrounds they have.

If he has With these qualities, like hard-work, generosity and adherence to the firm's rules, the company will ...

:-)


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