IELTS : Contacting nowadays seems to be not a difficulty anymore; technology

Hi everyone, I'm a new member here. I'm not good as writing though so I'm looking for help. I appreciate it if you can correct this writing task for me. Thanks all.

Topic : Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? Has this become a possitive or negative development?

Contacting nowadays seems to be not a difficulty anymore. As technology increased with high awarded, more people use it as their necessary items. Life has changed really different compared to before. If people continues using technologies too much, will it affect to relationships between people and people?

On the one hand, many people said that technologies have bad affects on relationships. It is true that using technologies or the Internet, cell phones, laptops to communicate is fast and convenient but it will become an obstacle between people to people if they abuse? For example, friendships may be faded away if friends just keep in touch through e-mail, skype or chatting by social networks without face-to-face meeting and talking. Moreover, not only technologies affect but also do harm to health because of its electricity. According to a recent research, people around the world used cellphones more and more and may cause tragic deaths because of carlessness.

On the other hand, technology users and aholic-users commented that after using cellphones, laptop, they found OK or even great and more convenient. It is no doubt that the Internet is the most powerful communication nowadays. Thanks to these inventions, contacting and interactions are very easy. If someone wet travel abroad and felt home-sick, no problem caused cause they can call home as anytime they like. It fast, free and convenient. The world today is getting modernized and developed. It is not until cellphones and other contacting devices were invented and itroduced. For example, ín 1990s when cellphones had already invented but they still wrote mails and just use public phones. It is not until 1996 and 1997 that it was advertised so it was used widely.

To sum up, as we can see everthing has 2 faces : coins have 2 sides and also technologies have pros and cons. It depends on how people use and also its qualities, facilities.

1. affect = verb
effect = noun

2. Specify your idea in the second paragraph.

... you need to improve the presentation of this idea;
Nowadays, communicating with each other is not a difficult task.

Let me give a few edits:
Given this evidence, we have discussed the pros and cons of technologies. However, people are free to express their preferences through the use of technology.


This is verbose. Better omit. If you think that you need to have Strong Writing, more succinctly !!!

Well, this is not really aligned with your topic though it has some relevance to it;

I suggest you to use dumi's structure.

Maybe you should have written: Almost all devices shed electromagnetic waves that can cause many harmful outcomes
You should avoid using informal words such as OK and others:)

Pay lots of attention what dumi has suggested above in terms of the essay structure that you need to follow for this task. You better re do this same essay following those guidelines :)

On the one hand, many people saidsay that technologiestechnologyhave bad affects on relationships negatively. It is true that using technologies or thelike Internet, cell phones, laptops, to communicate is faster and more convenient. However,but itthey will become an obstacle between people to people if they abuse? For example, friendships may be faded away if friends just keep in touch only through e-mail, skype or chatting byvia social networks without face-to-face meeting and talking.

Thanks all you guys. I appreciate those comments that you guys left to help me xxx

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction.

A writer needs to keep in mind that the intro is often what a reader remembers best. Your intro should be the best part of your essay. If you could, state your own opinion in the introduction itself with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly. That helps you take the reader in your desired direction.