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Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support


sntchaitu 1 / -  
Apr 3, 2013   #1
Hi,
I am a novice in essay writing,any suggestions or comments are highly helpful to improve my writing skills.

Thanks,
Santhosh

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.

Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.


Response:

It is true that major cities are integral part of a country.They represents the face of a state/country.They need a particular source of income in-order to thrive.But we cannot say these are the primary hub where nations cultural traditions are preserved and generated.The above given claim and reason warrants some discussion.

If we consider major cities like london,new delhi,new york,Mumbai,chennai across the world.They are the economic emblem of that country or state.Now a days, they are becoming more self sustained as there is potential source of income generating in form of stock trade and various other businesses. Also,their populace represent a blend of different cultures which in-turn gives a unique meaning to those cities.

On the flip side,villages and minor cities are the ones where government should keep their focus.A nations culture and tradition is truly reflected in its villages.No doubt,India is a best example.In our country,different cultures and traditions are best embodied in its villages. I would like to a quote relevant instance, in Andhra pradesh state,kuchipoodi is a small village where our state traditional dance "Kuchipoodi" has arisen.Similarly,in TamilNadu Tanjaore is small growing city which has magnified its state popularity for special crafts.

Also,if we consider in terms of economic strata,they are in dire situations when compared to their states major cities.Day by Day,the special art or craft is loosing its value due to lack of people to perceive this art as they are showing interest to city culture.They is every chance for the government to provide conducive financial support to these villages in order to magnify its diminishing traditions and cultures.

In sum,government must ensure its financial support in greater amount to villages and minor cities in order to make them flourish as they carry forward the cultural heritage of the country.
davesh82 - / 7 2  
Apr 3, 2013   #2
Hi Santosh,

One common mistake, I can highlight to you is avoid usage of same word in your essay.
To show fluency in English language, you need to used different word to convey your meaning in more efficient way.
Instead of using They ...5 times better use connective word to link you idea in better way..

Regards
Davash


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