Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


'changes of using fuel source to produce electricity' - [IELTS] Task 1--- Pie chart


collphunk 1 / -  
Aug 13, 2012   #1
Please help me to check this writing. The topic are attached. Thanks in advance :D~

The pie charts illustrate the changes of using fuel source to produce electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Generally speaking, electricity is generated from mainly coal in Australia in both 1980 and 2000 while the nuclear power became the most popular source in France in 2000.

To begin with, coal accounted for half of generating electricity in Australia in 1980; then, it witnessed a huge part of producing power with just over third quarter of total. In constrast, there is a slight change in hydro power catergory in Australia with the figures in 1980 and 2000 are 20 units and 36 units respectively. The oil and natural gas in Australia was not used porpularly to generate power which decreased sharply to 2 units in 2000 in both.

In France, the case is different when coal played a medium role in producing electricity; in fact, the amount of coal using for this purpose did not change eventhough the generated electricity units was increased. It is also clear to see that nuclear power showed the biggest catergory which went up from 15 units in 1980 to 126 units in 2000.

In conclusion, in both Australia and France, natural gas became the less favourite source to generate electricity in 2000.

(210 words)



jezeter - / 4  
Aug 15, 2012   #2
you should use words with more impact like dramatic increase or exponentially rather than huge.

"In constrast, there is a slight change in hydro power category in Australia"

instead of using change, just used increase etc. change is too general. its better to be specific when describing the pie chart

you can compare the pie chart of France and Australia and explain how and why they differ in relation to the economy and location of each country

also you spell popularly and contrast wrong; don't forget to read through your work for any mistakes


Home / Writing Feedback / 'changes of using fuel source to produce electricity' - [IELTS] Task 1--- Pie chart
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳