Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Cambridge IELFTS - Prevention is better than cure. Health education.


Pony 1 / 2  
Mar 9, 2011   #1
" Prevention is better than cure" , Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, people get much serious diseases although the health services develop much than in the past. The government considers to spending the sum of money on health education and preventative measures. In my opinion, I agree that the government should spend a large proportion of the country's health budget on prevention because this can improve people's health and reduce the overcrowding of some hospitals.

First of all, If the government spends a large proportion of the country's health budget on health education and preventative measures, people's health will be improved. The government can introduce some health education health programmes that make citizens more aware of some diseases, how to prevent them. If the citizens have knowledge about some infectious diseases like zoonosis, pneumonia, leprosy, scabies, common cold... or some common diseases like influenza, flu ... they can avoid them. With some serious diseases like cancer, parkinsons, infantile paralysis, malaria ... people can understood about them that helps prevent not to spread widely or find out the best treatment method which saves so many lives. In addition, the government can spend money on producing vaccine free for citizens. This enables to prevent people from get some diseases.

Second, by the implementation of the government's policies, the overcrowding of some hospitals will reduce. The decrease of the patients let the health care services better. Because, instead of four patients in a bed, there is a patient in a bed that helps the patient can feel comfortable and quickly recover the health. The patient can use the equipments when they need instantly instead of sharing it with others. Moreover, doctors and nurses will not be stressful and over load. They only concern on a patient that brings the best treatment result.

In contrast, some thinks that spending a large proportion of the country's health budget on health education and preventative measures by government is unrealistic. I see this view and I partly agree with this. Because prevention is permissible only in well understood and controllable conditions, not cure the disease totally. However, the prevention at least reduces the danger level, the pain and saves money and time. You will sit in the better health.

To sum up, If the government spend a large proportion of the country's health budget on prevention, this will brings a lot of benefits. People will have a chance to widen their knowledge about some diseases, how to avoid them or figure out the best treatment method... As a result, the health will be improved. Addingly, the overcrowding of some hospital will reduce that helps people have a better health care service. There is no doubt that spending on health education and preventative measures is really important.

Give me some comments, please ! :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 13, 2011   #2
This is going to be a great thread. If anyone has any questions about the corrections, please ask! :-)

Nowadays, people get many serious diseases although the health services have been developed much than in the past.

The government considers spending a large sum of money on health education and preventative measures.

Yes, I see a correction for this in the post by Saysi:
First of all, If the government spends -----You should not capitalize the "I" in "If"...
First of all, if the...

This makes it possible enables to prevent people from get some diseases.

The patient can use the equipments equipment when they need...---The word equipment does not need s.

Addingly Additionally, the overcrowding of some hospital will decrease, and that helps people have better health care service.

You still have a lot of errors, so I hope you will type each sentence above. Type each sentence 10 times! So, that means you need to type 6 X 10 sentences. Speak them aloud when you type, and your grammar will soon be perfect. :-)
SuYper 4 / 10  
Mar 14, 2011   #3
Teacher checked gramma for you.
One more point I think you should avoid is that "..." is not accepted :) Readers will misunderstand your ideas like you don't have any idea to put on this essay .
OP Pony 1 / 2  
Mar 16, 2011   #4
Thanks for your comments . I'll check my essay and correct it ! :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Cambridge IELFTS - Prevention is better than cure. Health education.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳