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Art, music, drama as a part of every child's basic education?



whitneyThreads: 21
Posts: 88
Author: Yang Na     		Nov 5, 2010, 11:07am   #1
Art,music, and drama should be basic suject
I agree with the statement that subject like art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education with the following three aspects.
To start with, subjet as art, music, and drama may make children see things from new perspectives. Each of the subjects, in my opinion, is a special world that can provide fresh knowledge beyond children's imagination. By learning them, children probably will see things from a point of view that is totally different form their opinion before.
Furthermore, art, music, and drama can improve children's motivation, enthusiasm, concentration, and so on. Firstly, they may be helpful for children who are not sef-motivated, as they will spir children to participate the courses, compete with peers, and look for praise. Secondly, these courses may encourage children to love life, have beautiful dreams concerned their future, and feel energetic. Thirdly, since children need to listen to the instruction, remember the tips, and observe the wok, they have to concentrate on the subject, or they will lag.
Ultimately, these three subjects may offer low-income children chances to learn arts. As we all know, there must be many children who have talent in art, music, or drama but their family can not surpport them to have the course. Thus, I strongly reckon that they will benefit a lot form the subjet ,and probably their life will be changed.
In summary, I hold that subject as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education. The reasons are they can have new viewpoints, they may be motivated, enthusiastic, and concentrated, and low-income children can have an access to art, music, and drama.

The assignment's prompt is do you agree or disagree with the statement "subject as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education".
AzeriThreads: 10
Posts: 207
Author: H.B.Sadikhova     		Nov 7, 2010, 01:06pm   #2
whitney:
I agree with the statement that subjects like art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education with the following three aspects.


Avoid starting a TOEFL essay with words "I agree or disagree". Start with a sentence that will capture readers' attention, f.e: a quote or a question. Also, I think that the introduction is too short. Since the purpose of introduction is to interest the readers and introduce them the stuff to be discussed further, you should compose longer ones.

Good luck!
whitneyThreads: 21
Posts: 88
Author: Yang Na     		Nov 9, 2010, 09:28am   #3
Thank you. Your advice is very helpful for me. Look forward to more advice.
ninja1992Threads: 6
Posts: 18
Author: Lue Thomas     		Nov 9, 2010, 09:06pm   #4
One suggestion -

"The reasons are they can have new viewpoints, they may be motivated, enthusiastic, and concentrated, and low-income children can have an access to art, music, and drama."

maybe you could change it to

"The reasons are; they can ..... "

or

"The reasons are that they can......:

or

"The reasons are that children can have new....."
hannahkim91Threads: 4
Posts: 16
Author: Hannah Kim     		Nov 9, 2010, 10:18pm   #5
Thus, I strongly reckon that they will benefit a lot form the subjet ... Spelling subject

other then that , seems pretty good :)
whitneyThreads: 21
Posts: 88
Author: Yang Na     		Nov 11, 2010, 08:49pm   #6
Thank you very much. I will follow your suggestion.
whitneyThreads: 21
Posts: 88
Author: Yang Na     		Nov 17, 2010, 09:08pm   #7
Thanks for all the replies made by professors and peers . I rewrited this essay according to your advice and my own new view points.

In some schools art, music,and drama are as a part of every child's basic education ,while in others they are not. I hold that art, music,and drama are as important as subjects like mathematic, philosophy, and language. There are three reasons I would like to name.

Firstly, arts, music and drama learning is good for students' personal development. It is closely linked to academic achievement that parents want for their children, because involvement in the arts is associated with gains in math, reading, cognitive ability, critical thinking, and verbal skill. Besides, arts, music and drama learning is linked to children's social and emotional development. Actually, the intrinsic pleasures and stimulation of the art experience do more than sweeten an individual's life. Arts learning can improve motivation, concentration, confidence, and teamwork.It can connect people more deeply to the world and open them to new ways of seeing,creating the foundation to forge social bonds and community cohesion.

Secondly, strong arts programming in schools helps close a gap that has left many a child behind. From Mozart for babies to tutus for toddlers to family trips to the museum, the children of affluent, aspiring parents generally get exposed to the arts whether or not public schools provide them. Low-income children, often, do not. Arts education enables those children from a financially challenged background to have a more level playing field with children who have had those enrichment experiences.

Thirdly, it is time to make art, music, and drama as part of what all schools should teach, for arts education has been slipping for several decades, which will make the nation impoverished in immeasurable ways. Education focusing on reading and math, with pressure to raise test scores, has reduced classroom time devoted to the arts. The result of tight budgets, an ever-growing list of state mandates have crammed the classroom curriculum. And public widely view that the arts are lovely but not essential.

In summary, making art, music, and drama as part of every child's education will be helpful for children's personal development, will narrow the gap between low-income children and children with enrichment experiences, and will, in some degree, change the reality that arts education is slipping.
whitneyThreads: 21
Posts: 88
Author: Yang Na     		Jun 22, 2011, 09:40pm   #8
In some schools art, music,and drama are as a part of every child's basic education ,while in others they are not. I hold that art, music,and drama are as important as subjects like mathematic, philosophy, and language. There are three reasons I would like to name.

Firstly,arts, music and drama learning is good for students' personal development. It is closely linked to academic achievement that parents want for their children, because involvement in the arts is associated with gains in math, reading, cognitive ability, critical thinking, and verbal skill. Besides, arts, music and drama learning is linked to children's social and emotional development. Actually, the intrinsic pleasures and stimulation of the art experience do more than sweeten an individual's life. Arts learning can improve motivation, concentration, confidence, and teamwork.It can connect people more deeply to the world and open them to new ways of seeing,creating the foundation to forge social bonds and community cohesion.

Secondly, strong arts programming in schools helps close a gap that has left many a child behind. From Mozart for babies to tutus for toddlers to family trips to the museum, the children of affluent, aspiring parents generally get exposed to the arts whether or not public schools provide them. Low-income children, often, do not. Arts education enables those children from a financially challenged background to have a more level playing field with children who have had those enrichment experiences.

Thirdly, it is time to make art, music, and drama as part of what all schools should teach, for arts education has been slipping for several decades, which will make the nation impoverished in immeasurable ways. Education focusing on reading and math, with pressure to raise test scores, has reduced classroom time devoted to the arts. The result of tight budgets, an ever-growing list of state mandates have crammed the classroom curriculum. And public widely view that the arts are lovely but not essential.

In summary, making art, music, and drama as part of every child's education will be helpful for children's personal development, will narrow the gap between low-income children and children with enrichment experiences, and will, in some degree, change the reality that arts education is slipping.
EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,204
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads! [Moderator]    		Jun 25, 2011, 09:36am   #9
Azeri! One of my favorite people... nice to see you.

Ninja, I like your username!

Yang Na, I'll give my ideas for this essay.... I was walking down the street toward the place where I was going to play my guitar, and I suddenly had the insight that art (including music and all creative expression) is what makes life worth living. In fact, I think the impulse that started the universe was probably that spark of creative inspiration.

Art,music, and drama should be basic subjects.
I agree with the statement that subjects like art, music, and drama should be a parts of every child's basic education, and I support my argument with the following three points.

Be careful about the spelling: subjet

... as art, music, and drama may make children see things from new perspectives. ----To improve your writing, always try to replace "things" with a more descriptive noun...for example:
.... make children see their learning experiences from new perspectives.

Each of the subjects, in my opinion, is a special world that can provide fresh knowledge beyond children's imagination. ---great sentence!

By learning them, children probably will see things from a point of view that is totally different form their opinion before from their own.

Furthermore, art, music, and drama can improve children's motivation, enthusiasm, concentration, and so on. ---Another briliant sentence.

You need to include the s:
In summary, I hold that subjects such as....

I see a lot of great writing from you lately, Yang Na! I'm excited about your progress.


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