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TOEFL:Art museums or recreational facilities?


junephysics 1 / 3  
May 12, 2011   #1
The difference between building an art museum and digging a swimming pool is more than creating different concrete bodies, it is about what kind of culture we want to have, about what kind of life we want to pursue. In this point, I hold the belief that the government should raise funds to establish an art museum or a music performance center rather than recreational facilities.

To start with, art including music makes great contribution to the contents of our culture and history. Painters and musicians create beautiful art pieces which is a lively portrait of the then life style, circumstances, with a demonstration of spirit states in a society. To preserve these art works, and make them accessible to all people is the fundamental obligation of an art museum. By these means, culture has passed on from generation to generation, and we can know who we are, where we came from and how our ancestors used to live.

Furthermore, art museums educate the public in both moral and aesthetic realm. In the world of visual images, however, the museum is the primary source for education, merely by existing, by preserving and exhibiting works of art. What the artists depicted in the drawings will pass on directly to the people gazing at it, his emotion, value and his philosophy. Audience will also have a rough sense about paintings, painters and the history of art through exhibitions, and gradually get to know what a masterpiece is like to be, and how to appreciate it fully. An art museum is educational, in the broadest and best sense.

Important as educational process is, the museum is less a place to learn about art than a place in which to enjoy it. An art museum exists for our pleasure, for recreation and the kind of quiet contemplation that suit each of us best. Every time we feel lonely and upset, a glimpse at these quiet, gorgeous paintings, or a moment for Bach and Chopin, will drive away depression and instruct us to appreciate beautiful things again.

In conclusion, art museums and music performance centers serve for entertainment, moral up lift and popular taste improvements, and an absence of these buildings is a great lose to public spiritual life. That is why I strongly recommend that it is crucial important for the government to support such cultural places.

I'm afaid what I've talked is not convincing enough...please give me some advice!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 13, 2011   #2
life style ; lifestyle is one word.

To preserve these art works, and make them accessible to all people is the fundamental obligationprime objective of an art museum.

What the artists depicted in the drawings will pass on directly to the people gazing at it, his emotion, value and his philosophy.I dont get what you try to mean by the part in red. Are you referring to the artists or the people?

Important as educational process is, the museum is less a place to learn about art than a place in which to enjoy it. ----------I find this sentence a bit confusing. Are you trying to say that art museum is not only for you to gain knowledge but also to enjoy?? or something else?

You have good vocabulary as well as good ideas. I think you should pay attention to structure your sentences so that the reader could grasp your idea clearly.
OP junephysics 1 / 3  
May 14, 2011   #3
thank you for your advice! I just try to use some complex sentences, but it seems not very successful...
Frank zhao 5 / 10  
May 14, 2011   #4
Quite clear structure. Maybe you can type the question in front of your article.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 14, 2011   #5
Great advice, Dumi. It is best to simplify the sentences.

The difference between building an art museum and digging a swimming pool is more than creating different concrete bodies. It is about what kind of...------In this case, it needed to be separated into 2 shorter sentences.

To start with, art (including music) makes great contribution to the contents of our culture and history.-----This is a good place to use parentheses, as I showed.

the pieces ARE...
Painters and musicians create beautiful art pieces which are lively expressions of their contemporary lifestyles and circumstances, with a demonstration of the spirit of a society.

Let's talk about ARTISTS AND AUDIENCES (plural):
What the artists depicted in the drawings will pass on directly to the people gazing at them -- his emotion, va lue and his philosophy. Audiences will also have a rough sense

:-)
ddpddpzzz 3 / 7  
May 15, 2011   #6
i think you want to have more persuadable essays..

you'd better use some comparison between two choices.

by using such sentences ' In a sense' 'Some might say'

In a sense, recreational center can make people be free their stress, it is just for while.
if you visit museums and art galleries, ~~
Therefore, governments should be invest on art museums.
OP junephysics 1 / 3  
May 16, 2011   #7
Surprised to have so much advice! Thank you all!

Frank, I'll remenber to add the question in front next time~

Kevin, you're always hepful, and thank you for picking out all the faulty sentences

ddpddpzzz,you made a very good suggestion on this essay thank you!


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