Unanswered [3] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

IELTS-task 1: youth unemployment causes problems and measures


answers: 2
Dec 16, 2012, 06:09am   #1
Topic:In many countries, a large number of young people are leaving school but are unable to find jobs. What problems do you think youth unemployment causes for individuals and society as a whole? What measures should be taken to solve these problems?



Nowadays, unemployment among young men is becoming increasingly common. A multitude of youth quit schools for various reasons but cannot find suitable or satisfactory jobs. It is an urgent problem that have to be tackled. Or it will affect the individuals as well as the whole society in the long term.

There are various adverse effects that the issue may lead to. Youngsters who cannot get a decent job will probably suffer from a psychological frustration. For some of them, the self-confidence may be impaired. If they were refused by the employers for several times, they probably lose the faith for life and go astray. By which I mean, they may turn to use drugs or commit crimes to sustain their living. Even more severe consequence can be the suicide.

Moreover, for some young men who cannot work, the burden and pressure will end on their parents. Since the living expense is increasingly high, especially in big cities, the parents have to pay for their children's living and even the housing expenditure when their grown-up children cannot be economically independent.

And the youth unemployment will bring troubles to the government as well. The rise of laid-off will disappoint the citizens and disturb the social stability. The young and unemployed people will cause concerns for the students at school, who will be pessimistic about their future career prospects.

Some measures should be taken by the government to reverse this trend. First of all, the schools should adjust their curriculum to fulfill the requirements of employers. Since students regard schools as institutions where they can acquire knowledge and make them competitive in the job market, practical skills should be included in the classes of universities. Although unemployment is hardly avoidable, government is supposed to provide financial support to train the young people for getting a job.

To sum up, the unemployed young men is a social issue that should be tackled mainly by the government's efforts.

Dec 16, 2012, 06:35am   #2
flyfreesophie:
It is an urgent problem that have to be tackled. Or it will affect the individuals as well as the whole society in the long term.
......... I am sure you can present these two lines much more effectively : )
This is an issue that needs urgent remedial actions. Otherwise it would lead to many negative consequences for both the youth and society at large.
flyfreesophie:
Youngsters who cannot get a decent job will probably suffer from a psychological frustration.

Youngsters who cannot get a decent job may become psychologically frustrated.
flyfreesophie:
Since the living expense is increasingly high, especially in big cities, the parents have to pay for their children's living and even the housing expenditure when their grown-up children cannot be economically independent.

This sentence is too long......... better re-phrase.

As I always say, you write very well........ Pay attention to your time management now because time has a major bearing on this task. I think you should limit your essay to four paras; intro + two body paras + conclusion. That helps you save time. Practice with time and post your essays here. I'd love to read your essays : )
Dec 16, 2012, 11:24am   #3
In many countries, even though students have been educated about traffic rules, some break the laws.
==>>In many countries, even though students have been informed of traffic rules, some break the laws.

Each year, there are more nearly 200 000 people are injured involve red-light running.
==>>Each year, there are more than 200 000 injured people who involve in red-light running.


You may need to review grammar.



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓