Darshan, this is a good essay that just needs some grammatical editing and a little advice for changes here and there :-)
But,the issue of what is the right age for young adults to leave their parents and start living on their own is a contentious one.
- The issue of the right age for a young adult to move out of the family home is a contentious one that has resulted in highly heated debates.
- Never start a sentence with "But" that is an English grammar rule that cannot be changed.So, I believe that living with parents is a wise choice for adults until they get a head start to their professional career with a reasonable income.
- ... head start
with their professional...
Parents have valuable advice to their children as they go through the changes in their adult life.
- to
give their children...
Living together develops the environment of discussing adult's physiological and psychological changes face to face with their parents.
However, I believe that most young adults are inclined to take unprecedented advantages of the freedom they have.
In a nutshell, I believe that young adults should only consider living on their own only after they are sure they could sustain on their own. It is unwise to trade the opportunity of living with parents for a longer period of time for some late night parties or drugs. Thus, to cope with the physiological and psychological changes of adult life, to make financial life a less struggle and to prevent oneself digress from their destined path, it is important for young adults to live with their parents for a longer period of time.
- This is a good conclusion. You properly summed up the paper for the reader and did not digress in the presentation of facts. Excellent work :-)