In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly

Please help me revise my essay. Thank you very much!

In today's world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure everything is correct.

One question in our today's world: what is the best approach to undertake your work effectively? Whether one should work as fast as possible, regardless entailing risks or should work slowly and mindfully? The answer, as far as I'm concerned, is a matter of balancing pros and cons. Here I would clarify my viewpoint.

To begin with, let me take an example from the stock market. As in the stock market, an investor has to make very quick decision whether to sell or buy stocks according to the fluctuations of the market. He can make a final decision after speculating on data analysis; however, as the market is fickle, he cannot expect his speculation is 100% right, and, its dramatic variations give him little time to delay on making up his mind. Similarly, in commerce and trading, entrepreneurs have to grab promising chances venturing in unexplored businesses as quick as possible. This makes them as pioneers in those markets, and thus, they are likely prone to unprecedented success. In addition, they also prevent those chances coming into their competitors' hand. Thought there are many risks to address, it is important to them to make a quick move. Hence, in this first consideration, I would value fast undertakings over careful speculations.

On the other hand, to some certain people, it is obliged to follow rules strictly and do work carefully. For examples, for doctors and nurses, they cannot make rash decisions and carry out their diagnosis hastily. Instead, they must be very attentive and keen on judgments. Before reaching the final conclusion, they must have their patients done various kinds of medical tests, and in some cases, they even have to consult other experienced professionals in order to make the correct judgment. As we all have known, a little mistake can result to a tremendous disaster if they are not extremely mindful at their job. In this case, I would agree that working slowly and heedfully is more important than making quick decision.

In summary, it is important to have the best approach to your professional. While in some adventurous business being quick and decisive plays an important part to success, in other areas such as healthcare, being attentive is critical to accomplishment. Thus, one should know clearly what field they are standing in and make a right stance for their work.

When it comes to an introductory statement, an essayist's task is to present some background to the topic retrieved from the topic of the essay using some facts taken from the prompt. For this time, you can simply reword some of the information. Let me give a try.

People nowadays have much more options according to the importance of quick work and risk-taking rather than their grandparents did. While this idea is true for some extent, some others claim that it is slow work which makes everything correct. Therefore, I believe that these views, if implemented, will have an accumulative effect on the job satisfaction.


1. This cannot be a topic, as it adds no value for its presentation. I suggest that you present a topic forming a line with thesis statement.

2. To avoid sweeping generalization, write He/She, instead of He,

Thanks eddies for your suggested introduction. Followed is my revised statement for the 2nd paragraph. Is it better?

On one hand, fast work and risk taking has critical effects on money-making success . As in the stock market, an investor has to make very quick decision whether to sell or buy stocks according to the fluctuations of the market. He can make a final decision after speculating on data analysis; however, as the market is fickle, he cannot expect his speculation is 100% right, and, its dramatic variations give him little time to delay on making up his mind. Similarly, in commerce and trading, entrepreneurs have to grab promising chances venturing in unexplored businesses as quick as possible. This makes them as pioneers in those markets, and thus, they are likely prone to unprecedented success. In addition, they also prevent those chances coming into their competitors' hand. Thought there are many risks to address, it is important to them to make a quick move. Hence, in this first consideration, I would value fast undertakings over careful speculations.