Topic: In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? (IELTS)
Undeniably, in today's world full of cruelty and violence, more and more children give in to this tendency, causing problems with their behaviour in schools.
The first and foremost, one of the causes is lack of family affection that plays a an indispensable part in children's psychological formation. When children have problems with their parents, it is immediately obvious on their perfomance and behaviour in school, becouse they think about solution on their issue, rather than about studies. Furhermore, financial constraints and disturbing family atmosphere aggravates student's misbehaviour. Moreover, in this era of irreversible technological progress, many children face with brutality and inhumanity, outgoing from modern, sophisticated movies and computer games that harm children's delicate mental psychology. Another reason is bullying flowing from other students who have more authority in school. Thus, somebidy becomes a whipping boy for others, that is not always noticed by parents or school administration, therefore, not stopped at time.
The solution can lie in the actions of parents and teachers. Parents should support their children in all endeavors. They should resist watching violent films and programs and playing murderous video games.Teachers should act with understanding and encouragement. School guidance may open free sport clubs, where students will be able to spend their leasure time. Moreover, administratin should open psychological clubs with experienced psychologists in order to help morally to students with various problems, starting from household, ending with social.
In conclusion, children are the flowers of life. The have a fragile heart and soul. Accordingly, they need an appropriate care and concern. Parents and school have to protect them from miserable influence of the society in order to help students to build a strong personalities, as they are future of our planet.
Please, check and score my essay. What can I do to improve my writing?
Undeniably, in today's world full of cruelty and violence, more and more children give in to this tendency , causing problems with their behaviour in schools.
I think you should improve your introduction part. You need to illustrate "this tendency" more clearly.
In conclusion, children are the flowers of life. The have a fragile heart and soul.
you could prolong your sentence more as your sentence seems too short. :)
eg. In conclusion, children are the flowers of life
. The haveawith fragile heart and soul.
