Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7


Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office?


zhonghua2412 2 / 5  
Jul 4, 2011   #1
Modern technologies allow us to finish our job through various ways. People can get up late
in the moring and say hello to their boss using Skype video, rahter than traveling
a long way and struggling with the traffic jam on the road to go to workplace. However, in
my opinion, despite benefits, we should see the potential hazards it brought us, like the loss
of movitation, causing problems to managing and personal future career.

working in the office means that we have an working atmosphere in which we can keep ourselves
focusing on the job. Seeing all the colleges are busy going around, the employees are more
likely to be productive. Suppose the secene that we work at home, we may have children running
,jumping and playing around. Also we may think that we have done enough work, maybe I need a
short rest. So in these situations we probably choose to stop working and focus on other chaos.
How can employees promise that they will not distracted from working while at home? Probably no
body can promise.

Another equally important fator that accounting for why I support that people should working
at office is that working at home may cause problems to the management of company.As a recent survey indicates that almost 60% bosses would like

their employees working at the office. Bosses are more facinated with the traditional way of managing. If he wants to talk to the employee, he may

directly talk to you face to face. Nontheless, the communication with the phone or email is not
as efficient as the face-to-face talk. In order to make the communications more effective, I
strongly suggest working at office.

Last but not least, working at home, to some degree, is risking one's future career. Suppose
your boss has never seen you face to face, how can he trust you as much as the one who is working
around him everyday? Career is so important for everyone of us, we seem not to be able afford
price of losing a job. Besides, nobody want to work the same position all one's life. We all
want to get a promotion right? Hence, in order to get a promostion or stay safely on one's job,
go to office and work there!

To sum this up, while we all want more time with our family or friends, the risk of losing a job
is a price too much that we pay for that. But there are also positive sides of working at office just
as what I mentioned above. Working at home using telephone or email is not better than working at office
at all.
Alisha123 9 / 18  
Jul 4, 2011   #2
Hi, I found few spelling and grammar mistakes in ur essay like

Morning, Rather

despite of these benefits

factor

Nobody wants to...

I does not look good to write as I mentioned above, u can say as it is mentioned

Few mistakes however the ideas are very good.
OP zhonghua2412 2 / 5  
Jul 4, 2011   #3
thanks very much. in fact, there are always a few spelling mistakes in my passage. i am struggling to learn how to type fast with few mistakes. anyway, thank u so much!
winniesun 9 / 19  
Jul 5, 2011   #4
I'm also planning to write the essay about "working at home". But the topic is a little different. Mine is the benefit for employees outweigh those for employers.. Still. I have no idea about that...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 5, 2011   #5
Modern technologies allow us to finish our job through various ways. People can get up late
in the moring and say hello to their boss using Skype video, rahter than traveling
a long way and struggling with the traffic jams on the road to the workplace.------I made a small change.

Capitalize:
working Working in the office means that

Probably nobody can promise.-----Very wise!! You are smart. I guess they will have to be paid according to their productivity.

Another equally important fator that accounting for why I support that people should working that makes me think people should work at the office is that working at home may cause problems in the management of company.

...much as the one who is working around him every da y?

Hence, in order to get a promostion or stay safely on one's job, go to office and work there!----Ha ha, great enthusiasm. I don't like that advice, though! Being self-employed and working from my computer is the life for me! :-)
OP zhonghua2412 2 / 5  
Jul 6, 2011   #6
Thanks for your advice. As for the third paragraph, i also wanna to short-cut it, because it is a little bit wordy. But do u have any other ways to change this topic sentence to be more fascinating? the word u made use of is a little simple.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 8, 2011   #7
Are you talking about the topic sentence of the 3rd paragraph?

Another equally important factor that that makes me think people should work at the office is that working at home may cause problems in the management of company.-----So, how can we make this more fascinating? We can use a hyperbole:

Another equally important factor that that makes me think people should work at the office is allowing employees to work at home may cause the management of the company to become so frustrated that they go insane!


Home / Writing Feedback / Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳