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TOEFL-Work with a group of people on a team or to work independently


answers: 7
Sep 8, 2011, 02:08pm   #1
Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.


In modern society, people need to work in order to achieve their goals. An individual, who possess a higher level of working abilities, has a greater chance to success. The working abilities can be classified into two types. The first type consists of the skills to work independently, and second one involves the abilities to work with a group of people on a team. I reckon that the latter type is more crucial than the former type because of two reasons. First, cooperation is common in the world. Second, cooperation is more likely to accomplish great achievements compared to working along.

With the advent of technological advances, globalization is the major trend in contemporary society, which indicates that collaboration is widespread and inevitable. Therefore, it is much more critical for everyone to be able to work with others than to work as one person. Many modern citizens now work in a company or an organization. Clearly, they must cooperate with others for some degrees. Although others, such as some farmers and writers, may work along, they still need to purchase their products or ask for assistance sometimes. In other words, they still need to collaborate with others.

Moreover, for some difficult tasks, collaboration is the only way to tackle them. This phenomenon further increases the significance of cooperation. For example, it is impossible for one worker can construct a magnificent skyscraper along. To build a skyscraper, it is necessary to gather a group of workers. Similarly, it is impossible to protect a country only by one solider. To maintain the security of one country, it is necessary to assemble an army. It seems that only a few astronauts, such as Armstrong, are capable of walking on the moon. No doubt that Armstrong has strong personal abilities. Nevertheless, no one can deny the fact that he could walk on the moon because of the collaboration of many people, such as scientists, engineers and astronomers.

In a nutshell, since collaboration is not rare, and is the only way to overcome some challenges. The abilities of working as a team are of great importance.

Sep 8, 2011, 07:24pm   #2
An individual,--No comma here.--- who possess a higher level of working abilities, has a greater chance to success.

...and second one involves the abilities to work with a group of people as a team.

Second, cooperation is more likely to accomplish great achievements compared to working alone.

Therefore, it is much more critical for everyone to be able to work with others than to work alone.

Many modern citizens now work for a company or an organization.

For example, it is impossible for one worker to construct a magnificent skyscraper alone.

To build a skyscraper, it is necessary to gather a group of workers. Similarly, it is impossible to protect a country with only by one solider.

To maintain the security of a country, it is necessary to assemble an army.

You made a lot of good points!

Good luck with school!

:)
Sep 9, 2011, 04:46am   #4
greater chance to succeed.............not success.
collaborate with others to some degrees............not for some degrees

don't use commas............... Although others, such as some farmers and writers, may work along, they still need to purchase.............
write it this way....although others, such as some farmers and writers, may work alone but they still need assistance to purchase

overall good essay structure and logical examples.
good luck
Sep 9, 2011, 05:09am   #5
Dear Winchesters,

Thanks for your kind assistance.

I concur with your first two suggestions.

However, it is important to note that "although" and "but" cannot coexist in the same sentence.

For instance,

Although he was tired, he still completed his task. (O)

He was tired, but he still completed his task. (O)

Although he was tired, but he still completed his task. (X)
The essay is furnished with good examples.

Though, I would like to state the introduction paragraph in slightly different way.

Working independently without others' interference does well in the field of art and literature. But when the matter is of finance, marketing, manufacturing and other business fields, team work is inevitable to accomplish the work. Even the field of art and literature require teamwork to market and sell the output which is produced by an individual.

Then buttressing the importance of "teamwork" with synergy effect, globalization trend with increased mingling of cross-culture people at workplace demanding the skill to work in group and other examples as above.

But this essay is really well-grounded.

Best of Luck
Sep 9, 2011, 08:53am   #8
Dear Asmita,

I appreciate your valuable comment.
Your revision clearly illustrates why cooperation is inevitable.
Also, your word usage is delicate.
I will improve the structure of the essay based on your idea.

Best wishes



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