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The wide-spread use of labor-saving devices has only made our life much more hectic.


Revin 2 / 4 1  
Aug 1, 2014   #1
Warm Greetings Users and Experts,
I'm appearing for an essay competition soon in the age category of 15-16 years old. Please do help me by pointing out my errors in this essay.

Thank you :D
Regards
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In this present day and age, we are surrounded by a myriad of devices which aid us in reducing our work.These devices, which help abase our workload, are collectively termed as "labor-saving" devices. Interestingly, all devices created so far are contrived with the object of abating our toil and hence, all of them are classified as labor-saving devices, right from calculators to laptops to vehicles.However, there is much argument about the fact of these machines effectively reducing our workload. Incontrovertibly, they help in lessening our drudgery in respect of a particular task but pragmatically, I believe that with their invention and widespread use, there has been an augment in our overall labor work, making our lives much more hectic

Foremost,I'd like to differentiate between the erstwhile and contemporary generation as it is oft believed that people in the primordial times led a rather stress-free life. This belief is utterly veracious for they lived with an aim of only thriving through their lives. These people,unsophisticated in nature, only yearned to acquire adequate eatables for themselves so as to live their lives. However, with a precipitation of some kind of scientific temper imbued in the later generation, mankind making revolutionary discoveries. With an accreit of such products, we started fabricating higher goals and aims for ourselves. Adopting such goals did succor in further development in the field of science and technology but alongside also engendered in the development of a plethora of stress amongst people.

The invention of such devices has not only made our work easy but also widened the prospect of our work . To further corroborate with my opinion, I shall cite a particular example to which many of us can relate to. For instance, if a corporate,bourgeois employee with a perfunctory vocation, is bestowed a personal laptop from his employer, this gesture will be perceived as one of approbation. Also, for the employee, it might signify lesser work as he could thereafter use the portable device to complete his pending work even when he is away from office. However, there is no such limit on the amount of work that can be done and hence, he would end up working much more,gradually lessening his personal time which is replaced bu his laptop work. This dearth of private time is what makes our life more hectic.Furthermore, through a multitudinous number of surveys psychologists have deduced that citizens of a developed country, in comparision with developing countries, lead a much more hectic lifestyle. These results can be co-related with the fact that citizens of developed countries are much more exposed to such "labor-saving devices" than the latter,

Humans, as we know, have got the inevitable propensity of always wanting more. These devices, instead of helping us to reduce our work, further assist us in our pursuit of gaining "more", a pursuit which is impossibly to be achieved. Hence, to make optimum utilization of these beneficial gadgets, we must draw a line between their use and over-dependence of on them, a restriction which is of utmost importance if we desire to live bereft of copious stress.

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niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Aug 2, 2014   #2
However, with a precipitation of some kind of scientific temper imbued in the later generation, mankind making revolutionary discoveries.

This does not have a verb to make it a sentence.

For instance, if a corporate,bourgeois employee with a perfunctory vocation, is bestowed a personal laptop fromby his employer, this gesture will be perceived as one ofan approbation.

If this is an entry for an essay competition, I suggest you to minimize using complex words, so your composition will not appear difficult to read. Using complex words is not the best way to achieve great vocabulary; it is how you perfectly use the word in the context which helps the idea of your sentence precise and coherent.
sundin928 12 / 18 10  
Aug 3, 2014   #3
The invention of such devices has not only made our work easyeasily but also widened the prospect of our work .


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