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Essay about my weekend activities


answers: 3
Oct 17, 2008, 06:19pm   #
I was asked to write an essay about my weekend activity. I would be grateful if any one review my draft essay and give me a comment or edit the whole essay for me. Thank you.
Solomon


This Friday and Saturday were passed as usual; working almost the whole day on Friday and half day on Saturday, driving the city bus on the same route and also dealing with the same passengers. The main things I done this weekend was; submitted my assignment and quiz answers, went to church and mowed the grass on the front yard.
Since I start my distance education, I spent all my spare time reading my text book and research related topics on the internet to improve my knowledge and answer all the questions asked by my instructor. So, Saturday after noon was the day I spent long time to edit my essay draft before I submitted for score. When I finished editing, I read it again and again but I wasn't satisfied on my work. At this moment, I remember my instructor's suggestion. So, I decide to read it again on Sunday. So, I saved my work and turned off my computer.
The next day Sunday was a little chilly in the morning. However, my fiancÚ and I didn't change our mind from going church. The church was about 25 miles away from our home. We stayed there until 1:00pm. After church, my fiancÚ and I went to our favorite restaurant us usual to eat our lunch. By the time we get home it was 3:30pm.
Finally, after a little rest; watching movie and chat with my fiancÚ, I went to the front yard to mow the grasses. This is the worse part of owning the house; cleaning, mowing and gardening every time.
This weekend passed as usual doing assignments, went church and working around the house. And it will continue until a significant change in my life. Who knows, one day I would win a lottery and travel the world and relax around the beaches on weekends with my fiancÚ. Until then I am Ok with it.

Good evening!

Here are my suggestions:

"This Friday and Saturday were passed as usual; working almost the whole day on Friday and half day on Saturday, driving the city bus on the same route and also dealing with the same passengers. The main things I did this weekend were submitting my assignment and quiz answers, going to church, and mowing the grass in the front yard.
Since I started my distance education, I spend all my spare time reading my textbook and research related topics on the internet to improve my knowledge and answer all the questions asked by my instructor. So, Saturday afternoon was the day I spent a lot of time editing my essay draft before I submitted it for a score. When I finished editing, I read it again and again but I wasn't satisfied on my work. At this moment, I remember my instructor's suggestion, so I decide to read it again on Sunday. Because of this, I saved my work and turned off my computer.
The next day, Sunday, was a little chilly in the morning. However, my fiancÚ and I didn't change our mind from going to church. The church was about 25 miles away from our home. We stayed there until 1:00pm. After church, my fiancÚ and I went to our favorite restaurant us usual to eat our lunch. By the time we got home it was 3:30pm.
Finally, after a little rest, watching a movie and chatting with my fiancÚ, I went to the front yard to mow the grass. This is the worse part of owning the house; cleaning, mowing, and gardening all the time.
This weekend passed as usual doing assignments, going to church, and working around the house. This routine will continue until a significant change in my life occurs. Who knows, one day I could win a lottery and travel the world and relax around the beaches on weekends with my fiancÚ. Until then, I am OK with it as it is."

Your content is very thorough. You do a good job of introducing what you will discuss in the piece, you give quite a good amount of detail in the body, and your conclusion is very neat. A good essay overall.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Oct 18, 2008, 08:26pm   #
Hello Gloria,
I really don't have words how much appreciated your comments and feedback. I wish I knew about this website long time ago. Thank you.
Solomon



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