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Warnings and smoking - IELTS task 2 Academic.


answers: 2
Nov 23, 2013, 02:19am   #1
Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.
Why should we be concerned about this?
What solutions would you suggest?
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is sad, yet undeniably true, that millions -no billions- of people worldwide continue to smoke although the precautions of health damage is crystally clear shown on each packet's cover. Unfortunately, most smokers are completely aware of the hazardous effects smoking bring to their health yet it is considered a 'mission impossible' to quit this shameful habit. The answer lies in one word- addiction!

It is well know that the mortality rate is skyrocketing every year as a result of larger number of people smoking. One of the most prominent reasons why this is considered a major threat is because the GDP of our country is more likely to decline. In detail, when a person inhales the toxic fumes of a cigarette, fatal substances like nicotine and tar can lead to high blood pressure and lung cancer, respectively. Consequently, physical, mental and behavioral health will be aberrated , unlike a normal person. Sadly, employees and workers will not be as productive as they were.

Moreover, these health problems indeed require medical treatments for cure which is in most situations very expensive in extreme cases. This amount of money would have been used in better investments such as clothing and sheltering the poor individuals. Also, smokers have a higher chance to face death as the cardiovascular diseases caused by smoking in the number one death contributor in our country. Not only will this negatively affect a family by facing depression issues, but it will also cause valuable souls with talents needed by society to be lost.

All in all, I believe that the government should lend a helping hand and aid our nation to quit smoking by putting a "no smoking" sign in all the indoor regions aw well as the places which are mostly crowded with people. I have an unwavering faith that on the long run when hazards of smoking begin to arise in a body, smokers will realize how much damage they did to their selves which will make them raise awareness to their children and grandchildren when growing up to never start smoking.
Nov 23, 2013, 02:50am   #2
Great Job! Its well written
although the precautions of health damage is crystally clear shown on each packet's cover
crystally clear does not fit well here
This amount of money would have been used in better investments such as clothing and sheltering the poor individuals.
What does this refer to? Is n't it better to say The

Some sentences such as
1. I believe that the government should lend a helping hand and aid our nation to quit smoking by putting a "no smoking" sign in all the indoor regions aw well as the places which are mostly crowded with people.
2. I have an unwavering faith that on the long run when hazards of smoking begin to arise in a body, smokers will realize how much damage they did to their selves which will make them raise awareness to their children and grandchildren when growing up to never start smoking.

These are quite a long sentences. Better to have Short and concise sentences of about 10-15 words max. For more information check(google) how IELTS evaluates essay.
Nov 26, 2013, 08:03am   #3
pakias:
It is sad, yet undeniably true, that millions -no billions- of people worldwide continue to smoke although the precautions warnings of health damage is crystally clear shown on each packet's cover.
......... well this is not for speech writing, but essay writing. So, avoid unnecessary redundancy.
It is well known that the mortality rate is skyrocketing every year
pakias:
One of the most prominent reasons why this is considered a major threat is because the GDP of our country is more likely to decline.

At this point you shouldn't have narrowed down the scope of your topic to your own country. Talk in general terms and then take that situation in your country for your example.



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