Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


IELTS Task 1: Visitor from and to UK


andial 21 / 48 3  
May 9, 2014   #1
Temans, kindly need your constructive feedback on this IELTS Task 1

============================================================
The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit.

The first chart compares the total number of international traveller from Great Britain and that country's visitor over a-20-year period from 1979 to 1999 while the second bar chart gives information about the most well-known nations were visited by Briton in 1999.

Overall, the increasing number of tourists from UK which rose far higher than that of international visitors to that country made the gap between them had widened over the particular period. Furthermore, the five most frequently countries visited by UK inhabitants in the last period pointed in the first chart had different proportion.

As per the information, the number of Briton visiting abroad stood at approximately 12 millions in 1979.It was little bit higher than traveller going to UK which was only 10 millions. While the visitor numbers of visitor going to UK inclined slightly, the visitor number from UK increase considerably. In around 1987, both visitors from and to UK continued to grow up to 55 and 25 respectively.

Looking closely at the bar chartreveals at the end of the period regarded in the first chart, France showed as the most popular countries visited by UK inhabitants which was approximately 10% higher than Spain, stood at the second position. Interestingly, Turkey which was located in the same continent as UK stood at the lowest position while USA which was in the different continent successfully got the third position higher than Greece.




dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 9, 2014   #2
the five most frequently countries visited by UK inhabitantscitizens in the last period pointed in the first chart had different proportion.

Overall, the numbers of UK citizens travelling abroad had increased at a much faster pace compared to the foreigners visiting the UK during the period under review. Further, France had been the most visited foreign country by the UK citizens during the year 1999.

There are two things that you need to pay attention - You should use the most appropriate word (avoid replacing words with synonyms) and you should not comment on anything that is not presented by the graphs.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 9, 2014   #3
Double graphs
Introduction: Write one sentence, but introduce each chart separately e.g "This first bart chart shows..., and the second chart illustrates

Short body:
Write 2 sentences. If the information in the charts is not connected, find one main point or general trend for each chart. If the charts are connected, try to make comparisons

Main body paragprahs: If the two charts are completely different (e.g. a graph and a table), write a separate paragraph about each.
If the charts are the same, and show the same information (e.g. 2 pie charts), do not describe them separately, the examiner will want to see comparisons.

In this case, you could write one paragraph describing all of the information, but it is still more preferable to write two paragraphs because it makes the essay look more organized
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
May 14, 2014   #4
I feel your OVERVIEW should have been shorter and less detailed and the detailed para should have contained more details and should have been longer.
OP andial 21 / 48 3  
Jun 4, 2014   #5
Dumi, eddies, pahan,

thanks for your suggested overview :-). you always come up with better sentences and approach.

You should use the most appropriate word (avoid replacing words with synonyms) and you should not comment on anything that is not presented by the graphs.

most of IELTS candidates try to vary their vocabulary in order to get higher score as lexical resource mark. :-) . However, sometimes I, like many others IELTS taker, do not really pay attention wheteher it is appropriate or not. thanks for this
ganggang 5 / 9 2  
Jun 4, 2014   #6
in the fist paragraph , international travellers


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Visitor from and to UK
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳