There have variety of definition for a perfect society, which could be depended on different point of views. In my opinion, a perfect society can be described as a place where has a good basic social security, everybody lives in safe life.
The most crucial element to become a perfect society is social security system which can be seen as a fundamental level of food, shelter, especially education and healthy care facilities that are necessary for survival of all human. Take developed countries such as US for instance, there had a good welfare system. All of the children can go to school and the tuition fees are paid by government until they reach at the age of 18. Retirement pension, Survivor's benefifs, which are for the elder who are too old to work. In addition, a Public Service for low income persons was set up, such as Public low income housing which money is given by government to people who do not earn much, to help them find a place for living. Food stamps, Medicaid that are the systems provide food and medical care for poor people.
The second point for ideal society needs to be considered is safe life. If there are no crimes such as theft, burglary or robbery in society, people will not live in fear. For example, Hong Kong where people live in control of law. Police officers who walk or drive around to make sure that there are no trouble or crime. Patrolling can be seen everywhere.
However, It is a very difficult task to create an ideal society. In order to do that, there are somethings must be followed. Firstly, all people have to get on well with each other, each person who live in society must obey the laws and rules, which is published by government. Secondly, People have to go to work, do not live base on social benefits. There have no development or economy will come down, sooner or later, this society will wipe-out if all people live on benefits
In conclusion, a perfect society can be created if all people agree to cooperate in planning and achieving to make a great future
What is the purpose of this writing? Is it for IELTS or TOEFL? Also what is the question for which you wrote this essay? If you mention them it is easy for us to provide you with more relevant comments.
There haveare variety of definition for a perfect society, which could be depended on different point of views.
There are varying definitions for a perfect society, which reflect different points of views.In my opinion, a perfect society can be described as a place where it has a good basic social security, everybody lives in safe life.
... social security and safe life both mean almost the same.
In my opinion, a perfect society can be described as a place where you find a sound social security system that allows everybody to lead their lives safely.oh sorry, I forgot, This Writing for IELTS, This is Topic: "Through history, people have dreamed about forming a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be.
What do you think is the most important element of an ideal society?
How can people work to achieve an ideal society"?
there are too many grammar mistakes. I highlighted some of them. you use a lot of relative clauses, it is appreciated. but you do not put commas. learn a little about punctuation. also, 'the' is not relevant everywhere. I think, you have to expand your conclusion.
Best wishes!
Thanks :) This was my first essay in IELTS Task 2, It had a lot of mistakes. I know I have problem with punctuation. So, I think i must review punctuation and grammar. I'm appreciated your reply
