Unanswered [1] / Featured [3] / Urgent [0]
 

Home / Writing Feedback /     

View and your opinion on traditional culture protect/destroy by tourists


answers: 3
Apr 6, 2010, 04:08am   #
Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed by using it as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
2:50
As the development of tourism, more and more traditional culture districts are open to tourists, which has triggered a hot debate Some people think that the traditional culture is destroyed while other claim that the traditional culture could be protected by using it as money making attractions. Personally, I believe moderate opening of traditional culture sites to tourists is an effective way to protect the local culture.
Admittedly, taking the traditional culture sites as money-earning machine would absolutely destroy the traditional culture to some extent. It is obvious that the vicious cycle would happen without reasonable management and controlment along with the arrival of increasing tourists, not only the environment of traditional culture districts would be destroyed, but also dissatisfactions and conflicts would be produced. There are not a few of such cases from the current reports or news.

However, we can not deny the functions and effects of opening them to the public. Most important of all is that it is the most effective to protect the culture itself, only when the culture is known and spread by the common people, will it have a long life span. Besides that, another effect that can be ignored is the economic income; the traditional culture building could be renovated and protected better by using them.

Personally, I think it is wise to more effective way to allow the tradition culture to be open to the public, but what I think is the most important is that the aim of opening it to the public should be spread and protect culture while not to earn money.


264words
5:00
Ps: It has been a long time for me to write an essay since the last one. So I feel a little shame and this one is not very good, welcome criticism.

As theDue to the development of tourism, more and more traditional culture districts are opened to tourists, which has triggered a hot debate. Some people think that the traditional culture is destroyed while others claim that the traditional culture could be protected by using it as money making attractions. Personally, I believe that moderate opening of traditional culture sites to tourists is an effective way to protect the local culture.

Admittedly, taking the traditional culture sites as money-earning machine would absolutely destroy the traditional culture to some extent. how? support your opinion. It is obvious that the vicious cycle would happen without reasonable management and controlment along with the arrival of increasing tourists, so that not only the environment of traditional culture districts would be destroyed, but also dissatisfactions and conflicts would be produced. why? - There are not a few of such cases from the current reports or news. - this paragraph contains mere statement that does not adress your reason properly

However, we can not deny the functions and effects of opening them to the public. Most important of all is that it is the most effective to protect the culture itself, since only when the culture is known and spread by the common people, will it have a long life span. Besides that, another effect that cannot be ignored is the economic income; the traditional culture building could be renovated and protected better by using them. - place each reason separately in independent paragraphs and then develop them

Personally, I think it is wise to more effective way to allow the tradition culture to be open to the public, but what I think is the most important is that the aim of opening it to the public should be spread and protect culture while not to earn money. - rephrase your conclusion.

Personally, I repute that the most effective way to preserve culture for the future generations and promote it as a part of country's image is to make it open to the public. - something like this. you can make it larger by stating once again your reasons
[i]
[i]If you consider that culture should be opened to world then place the third paragraph, before the second. the pargraph containing the contrary idea cannot be larger that the the one where you support your point of view
I see what Azeri means about supporting your assertion. Tourism does indeed destroy culture, but you should give an example of how this happens. Much has been written about the "commodification" of culture through the tourist industry.

Cathy, you should feel confident, because you write very well! Just use some techniques for making it "sharp" with meaning:
1.) End the first paragraph with a thesis statement that tells the main idea you want to explain in the essay: Personally, I believe moderate opening of traditional culture sites to tourists is an effective way to protect the local culture. --- I see that you know this rule already! Now, I think you should rephrase this sentence to be more specific: Personally, I believe moderate opening of traditional cultural sites to tourists is an effective way to protect the local culture, as long as governments regulate the activities of businesses accommodating tourist's interests.

2.) Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that tells the main idea of the paragraph.
Admittedly, taking the traditional culture sites as money-earning machine would absolutely destroy the traditional culture to some extent.

However, we can not deny the functions and effects of opening them to the public.

Personally, I think it is wise to more effective way to allow the tradition culture to be open to the public, but what I think is the most important is that the aim of opening it to the public should be spread and protect culture while not to earn money.

These are good, clear topic sentences! So, just make sure you spport each of them with enough evidence. Write some more sentences for each paragraph.

You can talk about how the tourist industry benefits some stakeholders while hurting others. Also, the very culture that attracts tourists might be altered, so tourists will no longer visit as often. The government must regulate.


:-)
Apr 13, 2010, 10:35pm   #
Thanks Azeri for your sincere suggestion.
Thank Kevin for your suggestion and encouragement. It is your encouragement that gives me a lot of couragement to go forward on the road of studying english. I am extremely frustrate recently, as I find both my oral and writing are far away to be satisfied.
But anyhow, I will go on, with all of your help and encouragement.



Home / Writing Feedback /

Thread closed ✓