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Do we value only what we struggle for? - SAT practice


answers: 2
Jun 3, 2011, 05:55pm   #
I've been prepping myself for the SAT and here's one of the writing essays that I practiced with:

Prompt:
"That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value."
Thomas Paine

Assignment:
Do we value only what we struggle for? Plan your response, and then write an essay to explain your views on this issue. Be sure to support your position with specific points and examples. (You may use personal examples or examples from your reading, observations, or, knowledge of subjects such as history, literature, science.)

My essay:


What we struggle for is inevitably what we value. The more effort and thought put into something, the more space that idea of what is being struggled for occupies the mind.

Thomas Paine's life was dedicated to making life better- he was constantly struggling for the American and French Revolutions. He wrote the book, Common Sense, in which he urged others to take up the duty that he felt to serve his nation and make her liberated. Risking his life to do all this, this was indeed the purpose that he struggled long and hard for.

In Harper Lee's book, To Kill a Mockingbird, the main character- Scout, struggles with her understanding between the differences of black and white people. With her father being a successful lawyer who later decides to defend a black man amidst the racial differences, Scout begins a several year long journey traveling between the lies and truths about the racial issues in her community before deciding for her what she believes.

I am part of the first generation in my family born in America. The process in which my parents emigrated from China to America was quite difficult. They both sought the opportunity in America in which I and my brother thrive in today through much struggle and hardship.

In these cases, our inner and outer struggles make up our values- in another way, a part of who we are. This is a point that we have discovered through obtaining freedom and our way of life above all else.
I'd love to edit and give you some pointers!


What we struggle for, is inevitably what we value. The more effort and thought put into something, the more space that idea of what is being struggled for occupies the mind.

Thomas Paine's life was dedicated to making life better; he was constantly struggling for the American and French Revolutions. He wrote "Common Sense" in which he urged others to take up the duty that he felt to serve his nation and make America liberated. Risking his life to do all of this, was indeed the purpose that he struggled long and hard for.

In Harper Lee's, "To Kill a Mockingbird," the main character, Scout, struggles with her understanding between the differences of black and white people. With her father being a successful lawyer who later decides to defend a black man amidst the racial differences, Scout begins a several year long journey traveling between the lies and truths about the racial issues in her community before deciding for her what she believes.

I am part of the first generation in my family born in America. The process in which my parents emigrated from China to America was quite difficult. They both sought the opportunity in America in which I and my brother thrive in today through much struggle and hardship.

In these cases, our inner and outer struggles make up our values- in another way, a part of who we are. This is a point that we have discovered through obtaining freedom and our way of life above all else.

I've change a few of your grammatical errors, but this essay is so short that there weren't many of them. Are you planning on adding more? You need more information and examples on the two books, as well as adding to your own personal interpretation and life experiences. In other words this essay is just a big fragment of a paper, I urge you to add more and define your topic within the essay. I hope I've helped you a little bit?
pianosaremusic:
What we struggle for is inevitably what we value. The more effort and thought put into something, the more space that idea of what is being struggled for occupies the mind.

Yes, but do we value ONLY what we struggle for?

Revise a little so that you will be answering the question! :-)

Maybe you can use these same examples to show that sometimes we also value something we do not need to struggle for.

Great work here, Rachael, you hero!



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