Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. .


mahdi 2 / -  
Mar 17, 2007   #1
A university plans to develop a new research center in your country.
Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center
for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research
centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your
recommendation.

I am not an economist . So I can not argue about this subject scientificaly.
So what I will say are only my personal opinions.I think that answer of this
question strongly depends on area that we are living in.I am living in iran
and I think that a center for agricultural research is better than a center
for bussiness research.I have my own reasons for this opinion that I will poit out
below :
Firstly , iran exports billions of barrels of oil to other countries each year. Gavernment earns
a lot of money from export of oil and gas and uses most fraction of them for military purposes
and daily consumption of people . Goverment is very big and people donot have enough money for
great bussineses because they can not compete with the government.Goverment opposes
with globalization .There are small stocks with limited exchanges and bussines dont exist in our
country in high level.So I think that developing a center for bussines affairs with this situation
is only the waste of money.

Seconly,Iran imports million tons of agricultural products evry year.A lot of people immigrate
to urban areas from rural areas every year . Tehran is capital of iran that have 12 million
people whereas iran has 60 million people. it makes tehran one of the polluted cities in the world.
tehran has also very traffic problems . I think that developing an agricultural center can help
for stopping immagration to urban areas . This can help to reduce consumtopns of the country
and equal supply and demand.
All in all ,I think that a center dor research in agriculture is necessary for iran and maybe
this is not a good plan for other countries.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Mar 18, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You make some persuasive points in your essay! I have some suggestions for editing your essay:

I am not an economist . So I can not argue about this subject scientificaly. - It would be better to make this one sentence. "I am not an economist, so I cannot argue about this subject scientifically."

Goverment opposes with globalization .- I'm not sure what this means. Perhaps you mean to say the government opposes globalization?

Tehran is capital of iran that have 12 million people whereas iran has 60 million people. - This is not grammatically correct. Say, "Tehran is the capital of Iran; it has 12 million of the country's 60 million people."

You have quite a few misspelled words. Be sure to run your essay through a spell-checker.

Best of luck with your studies!

Sarah, EssayForum.com


Home / Writing Feedback / A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. .
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳