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Essay University of Les Roches Hotel management School, Characteristics of an efficient Manager.


sylvia2626 1 / -  
Apr 28, 2015   #1
Please, give me your best advices, it's an important part of the whole essay,

When deciding to become part of the Hospitality industry, it's essential to provide and explore new forms of resources and to develop an international perspective so we can work effectively in an industry which is constantly growing and expanding.

Therefore it is necessary to stablish a clear vision, be resourceful, effective and productive. We need to put into practice social skills such as costumer service, flexibility and adaptability. As in the process of working on your project, you must be capable to inspire and motivate others while learning how to plan, execute and take every opportunity in order to transform your vision into reality.

Being an efficient manager is not just about what you wish to do, but materializing it so it can generate new paradigms where the management skills speak out ensuring the demand of sucess to be highly competitive in a dynamic global field.

''Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, sucess is all about growing others.''
kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Apr 28, 2015   #2
Hello Ms. Andrade,
First, why would you only post part of the essay? Words connect with other words to create sentences which in turn create paragraphs so only providing a portion of an essay doesn't really give much insight or meaning in your words. Without knowing how you wrote in the whole essay, it'll be difficult to fully grasp your writing system and adjust my reading habits to criticize and edit your essay... It is quite regrettable how I won't get to read your whole essay, but allow me to edit the writing you have done so far.

Therefore it is necessary to stablish a clear vision, be resourceful, effective and productive.

Therefore, it is necessary to establish a clear vision, simultaneously being resourceful, effective, and productive.

You need a comma after therefore, stablish isn't a word, and since you have more than two adjectives, it would be more neat to divide and organize how you're presenting them. just saying 'be resourceful, effective, and productive' after a verb is quite odd to read.

We need to put into practice social skills such as costumer service, flexibility and adaptability.

We need to put social skills into practice such as...

State the object of the verb taking affect after the verb.

As in the process of working on your project, you must be capable to inspire and motivate others while learning how to plan, execute and take every opportunity in order to transform your vision into reality.

Being an efficient manager is not just about what you wish to do, but materializing it so it can generate new paradigms where the management skills speak out ensuring the demand of sucess to be highly competitive in a dynamic global field.

You say the word 'you'... Who are you referring to? The essay topic says what is your idea of the characteristics of an efficient manager. Given the fact that you are writing this essay, whoever reads this can definitely state that you want to be an efficient manager. Your usage of 'you' makes it sound you do not want to be an efficient manager but rather someone who is teaching how to be an efficient manager. If you change your 'you' into 'we', you can give the idea that you are enthusiastic about being an efficient manager and would go beyond to accomplish that.

I hope my words helped. Let me know if you have an argument~
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
May 28, 2015   #3
You ended your essay with a quote in lieu of a paragraph, and you have only two paragraphs in the body. These are two problems which need to be cleared up.

ensuring the demand of success...

You need to clarify your second body paragraph. What are you saying?

You seem to mean that the manager has to materialize his promises to his public.

"Before you are a leader...

You can't end with that quote. You need to reiterate the major points of the intro, and then draw that conclusion. It needs to come fro somewhere.

Other than that, very eloquent, and well thought out.

ef_ carol


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