[IELTS] The two approaches to life: change or unchange? Personal preference?

Topic: Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Why?

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Human's greatest fear lies in anonymity. While many people, due to this fear, refuse to change their daily routines, a variety of the others enjoy new experiences in their life. Both of the two atttitudes towards life need comparison regarding experience and progress before a personal opinion is announced.

As long as knowledge is concerned, people who want to change are at a distinct advantage. To be precise, acclimatizing the new environment means that you have to use up different unfamiliar skills or learn to absorb them, which conduce to your comprehension. For example, a man who quit his current job as a teacher and turn to an actor may later on exploit his hidden talent and succeed. Meanwhile, people who remain their life unchanged can never get access to self-discovery or new skills which are less all-rounded than someone who changes his jobs so often.

In addition, progress should be regarded as a criteria to assess the two approaches to life. Clearly seen, unless someone is broad-minded enough to adapt to social changes, he may fall behind or gradually set himself aside from the world. The elderly, for instance, have proven to be incompetent at work compared to younger generation, as they turn down to take in high-tech skills or using modern equipment. Therefore, getting on well with changes may provide us with golden opportunities of promotion and intergration.

Everything considered, a changeable lifestyle is preferably good for everyone as it drives us beyond horizon and temporary position. From my personal viewpoint, I would lvoe to change my life for the aforementioned benefits.

Expert :) Please review this essay for me :) I find this one quite problematic and hope you can point out for me :)

This essay requires you to understand both points. Understand why both views are vaild.
Then explain which way to believe is the best for you!
so explain why change is good

Most of your points can be inserted in here. Changes lets you adapt. Change can be more amusing for ppl. etc. (i think you got the general idea for this part)

then explain why constant life can be good.

You can discuss how a constant life to some people is just annoying. Some people are looking for the simplicity in life which comes from constant life. Some poeple might fear that new experiences will change themselves. Because of that fear they refuse to live in this changing world. They might believe beauty and lifes desires are founds a beautiful getaway location in the middle of no wear. Nothing but peace and harmony. There is nothing wrong with living a constant life this its is just a point of view.

I dont know how long you essay has to be but you introductory looks good... just make you 2nd paragraph about why change is good and BAD...3rd paragraph why constant life is good and BAD...i am sure if you need to discuss the BAD parts but it is part of comparing.

last paragraph should be your preference.
Overall great essay but keep in mind it is a comparison essay which requires you to be open minded and accept both views at same time realize both views have negatives.

thanks! But do you think it's too long and maybe overloaded if we discuss both sides of one point in only one paragraph?

your task asks you to compare, so it seems better if you use comparison signal or contrast such as however, on the other hand, in contrary, etc to show that the paragraph contains contrast to the paragraph before

yeah I know, but if I'm comparing based on two criterias, then they must be used in the paragraph right? not from the start of the sentence ?