Traditional games are more useful than modern games in developing children's skills. To what extent do you agree?
Games have played a key role in children's growth, especially in terms of their abilities. With technological advances, children have more access to modern games currently. In such case, the relative importance of traditional games and modern games in children's developments of skills has become a frequent topic of discussion. For me, I believe parents and educators should attach more importance to traditional games.
It is true that modern games may be, to some extent, beneficial for children to foster some skills, such as computer skills or the capacity to keep up with the latest trend. This is because children have to be proficient at computers and the Internet if they want to join online games, which, in fact, helps children acquire a particularly powerful skill at work in future. At the same time, children have the chance to experience the state-of-the-art technology, raising their awareness of innovation rather than stay conservative.
However, I think traditional games are still indispensible in children's learning process, even much more essential than modern games, especially in modern society. One primary merit of traditional games is that they foster children's communication skills. Unlike most modern games which focus on the interactions between children and machines, traditional games provide a relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere where children can chat, laugh and cooperate face to face. As a result, communicating with a variety of people will not be an issue for these children any more.
Furthermore, it is the educational functions traditional games hold that keep them alive today. In fact, these traditional games were elaborately devised by educators and have been proven effective in improving children's skills on different aspects in previous teaching practices. By contrast, modern games are developed by game companies for the purpose of profits. Therefore, there is a risk that children may be exposed to unhealthy contents, such as violence or pornography, arranged in the games by such companies to secure financial survival.
Thus, I would conclude that traditional games should be, by no means, ignored by parents and teachers with the advent of modern games. Only through traditional games can children be ensured a positive and healthy skills learning process.
It is true that modern games may be, to some extent, beneficial for children to foster some skills, such as computer skills or the capacity to keep up with the latest trend. - You can remove the two commas. Also, the word "skills" appears twice. "keep up with the latest trend" is slightly vague, trend of what, for instance ?
This is because children have to be proficient at computers and the Internet if they want to join online games - join online games sounds somewhat awkward.
At the same time, children have the chance to experience the state-of-the-art technology, raising their awareness of innovation rather than stay conservative. - Good sentence, children get the chance sounds better.
still indispensible in children's learning process, even much more essential than modern games, - still essential to children's learning process, even more than the modern games,
Furthermore, it is the educational functions traditional games hold that keep them alive today. - Furthermore, traditional games play an important role in the realm of education also.
In fact, these traditional games were elaborately devised by educators and have been proven effective in improving children's skills on different aspects in previous teaching practices. - In fact, many of the traditional games were devised meticulously by educators and have proven to be effective in improving children's skills. This does not seem very clear - "on different aspects in previous teaching practices. "
arranged in the games - infused in the games
would conclude that traditional games should be, by no means, ignored by parents - would conclude that traditional games by no means should be ignored by parents
Only through traditional games can children be ensured a positive and healthy skills learning process - Children can participate in a positive and healthy learning process only through traditional games.
subhash_ghosh
Your advice is really heipful!Thanks.
Some questions for you here, I hope you could help me:)
1、It is true that modern games may be, to some extent, beneficial for children to foster some skills, such as computer skills or the capacity to keep up with the latest trend. - You can remove the two commas. Also, the word "skills" appears twice.
------I agree with what you said. But could you give me some advice on which word can be use to replace "skills"? abilities?
2、been proven effective in improving children's skills on different aspects in previous teaching practices.This does not seem very clear - "on different aspects in previous teaching practices. "
keep up with the latest trend."keep up with the latest trend" is slightly vague , trend of what, for instance ?
From the above comments, do you mean that I should pay attention that I need to try to explain my points more specifically, then in this way could I make readers agree with my argument better?
Thank you!
Hi Jennifer
1)
It is true that modern games may be, to some extent, beneficial for children to foster some skills, such as computer skills or the capacity to keep up with the latest trend.
You can write a sentence like - Admittedly, a few of the modern games do enable children to hone their computer-skills and to become familiar with the latest innovations in the field of Information Technology.
2)
What I meant is, the sentence does not make the intent/opinion clear. For example, can you elaborate further on what exactly do you want to convey by this sentence :
In fact, these traditional games were elaborately devised by educators and have been proven effective in improving children's skills on different aspects in previous teaching practices.
I see another way to improve it:
In such cases, ....
Actually, I think it is not even grammatically incorrect to do it the way you did it, although many people would disagree with me. Still, it is clearer is you use an s at the end.
:-)
Furthermore, it is the educational functions traditional games hold that keep them alive today.
Wow, you have some great sentences.
Well, you did not really show that traditional games are better for developing children's skills. You only showed that they should not be ignored, but I don't think you made a strong argument that they are superior. Modern educational games are designed based on the most sophisticated research ever done and empowered by digital technology. So, I disagree! Nevertheless, you wrote this beautifully, and I think it would probably get a high score (though I am not familiar with scoring criteria for ietls.
You really have some beautifully constructed sentences!
EF_Kevin
Thanks!
